Unpacking Life

It’s been almost six weeks since we arrived back in Prescott and slowly starting unpacking and reorganizing our home. Unpacking is a messy business. Of course, there is all the packing material that has to be disposed of – but it’s more than that. The process is emotional; for me anyway.

Working on the "Family Wall"

Cookware and glassware has to find the appropriate cabinet for its function and frequency of use. Each piece of artwork is deserving of the right place to be featured. Certain favorite family photos need to rest somewhere where my gaze can trip on them frequently. Decorative items will eventually find the right tabletop, dresser, or mantle from which they will enhance their surroundings and stir our memories. These decisions require time and thought. Each time I find the right place for something, I have a little “Eureka!” moment in my heart.

It’s not about the stuff…not really. What it is about is making a house our home for the long term. Ron and I plan to live in our Talking Rock home longer than we have lived elsewhere during our married life; maybe longer than either of us has lived anywhere. So it has to be comfortable. It has to be right. It will reflect who we are, and how we live. (Crap – no wonder I stress about this!)

Over time, changes will surely be made. We already have a few projects in mind for next year (to expand the back patio and add some shelves and lighting to the fireplace/entertainment wall). I can’t even think about that right now. Overload.

Today we’ll continue to churn through the boxes, bubble-wrap, and paper. Ron’s brother and sister-in-law arrive for a visit next week. They’ll still be a few boxes stored in the garage, but we’ll be in good shape for company and are excited that Tim and Emily will be able to experience how we live and see the home we have created.

Back to work!

Full Circle

We have just completed preparation of our Chicago condo for rental.  It has been a busy few months, including our move to Prescott and, most recently, a week of hard labor to freshen up the condo.  We have repaired, patched, painted, touched-up, cleaned and scrubbed just about every inch of the place.  It has a new identity, where “Calypso Orange” paint has been replaced with a more neutral and elegant “Abalone”.  Our new tenants, a nice young couple, are very excited to move in next month.

Yesterday I rested by one of the front windows, which was open to a mild, breezy afternoon.  To my delight, the scent of lilacs from the yard wafted in.  I was instantly transported to June 1, 2008, when we spent our first night as full time residents in our condo.  The lilacs were blooming then too, and I was full of happiness about our new life, starting retirement in Chicago.  Somehow it is very satisfying to make this transition to Prescott in the spring, knowing that the lilacs are there to bring joy to the next people to enjoy our condo home.

We have reservations for Smith & Wollensky tonight, which is located on the north side of the Chicago River.  They have expansive city skyline views that include the iconic sign of the Chicago Theater on State Street.  This is where we ate a celebratory meal when we first moved to Chicago.  Eating there our last night in Chicago seems to bring this chapter of our lives to a full and proper closure.  After all, nothing says Chicago like enjoying a prime steak with the city spread out at your feet.  

Our little urban hideaway will soon be home to someone else.  I am happy for them.  I am happy for us to be moving on to our Arizona dream.  Our time on Bittersweet Place (perfect street name, huh?) was wonderful and we will always remember it fondly.  And we still own the place, so who knows?

I love you madly, Chicago.  Always will.

Packing It In

The moving van loads up Tuesday morning. By this time next week we will be climbing back into our Budget Rental Truck after a night in Memphis, and heading to our next stop - Oklahoma City. The movers will be somewhere on the road too, headed toward Prescott.

The last five weeks have been...grueling. We dismantled our Chicago home and packed it up, box by box. Weeks of organizing, sorting, shredding, decision-making, donating, folding, wrapping, reaching, lifting, stacking, etcetera, are now over. Exhausted, both emotionally and physically, I expect the road trip to Arizona to be a little mind-clearing.

Our condo has been rented to a very nice couple in their early thirties. I’m tickled to see that they are so excited to move in and establish themselves here. We have been happy on Bittersweet Place, and we hope they will be too. Having a signed lease and a security deposit is a relief. The real estate market in Chicago will bounce back eventually, but for now at least our investment will pay for itself via the monthly rental fee. We’ll test the market again a few years down the road.

Chicago, we squeezed in as much fun as we could during the last few weeks. We had close encounters with several local Top Chefs, went to the theater twice, ate at our favorite neighborhood haunts, shopped downtown for our trip, and even played a few rounds of golf at Waveland. I know Chicago isn’t going anywhere – but we are.

Here we come, Prescott! We hope to arrive on Saturday the 14th, just in time for the wine tasting at the club. It will be wonderful to see our friends, enjoy the sun, hack our way around the golf course, and relax in our Talking Rock home.

The next phase of our lives is about to begin.

Workin' the Plan

The only way to escape becoming chronically overwhelmed while we are preparing to move is to Work the Plan. We haven’t gone as far as employing Microsoft Project, but I do have an Excel spreadsheet. In it, I have listed all the Tasks I can think of that face us before the move. Some are broken into Sub-Tasks. They are weighted by duration/difficulty, color-coded by status, and assigned to Laurel, Ron, or L & R. All needed contact names and phone numbers are consolidated here, where I can easily find them.

Every morning, and throughout the day, I peruse the list and make updates. I’m still adding tasks as nagging thoughts arise. It’s better to get it all on the spreadsheet than to have worrisome thoughts rattling around in my head when I’m trying to go to sleep.

The list is long. But each time I change a task status to ‘DONE’ and color it Green, a small sigh of relief escapes my lips. It keeps me focused, and helps me direct Ron to his next assignment. He’s a dedicated soldier when I give him a plan to work.

When panic creeps in, I pull up the plan and find something to do that gets us a step or two closer to our goals. Progress is the only antidote for this special variety of panic. That is… progress and a glass of wine at the end of the day.

I find comfort in the fact that there are a finite number of things to be accomplished, within a specified period of time. It will all be over soon. Every Task will be Green, and all the Statuses will be “DONE”, and we will make the move.

Fellow List-Makers out there understand. We are a special breed. Our tools may be spreadsheets, or paper with colored markers, but we are always “Workin’ the Plan”.

The Long Goodbye

It’s time to begin packing up our Chicago home in preparation for our permanent move to Prescott, Arizona. Our little urban oasis has been a fantastic first stop in our retirement; allowing us to enjoy all that this great city has to offer for almost four years. We’ve explored restaurants, shopped local, frequented theaters, established favorites among our neighborhood haunts, and navigated public transportation to get where we want to go. We became accustomed to walking a lot - for fun along the shore of Lake Michigan, with backpacks to pick up groceries, with tickets in hand to Wrigley Field, to the golf course with our clubs, or a few blocks to the neighborhood coffee house or tavern.

Our neighborhood coffee house.

This is where we discovered the joys of post-working life. Lazy mornings in our pajamas could lead to a long, leisurely lunch out, followed by an afternoon nap. It took a while to recover from the years of two demanding careers, but before long we adjusted just fine to being masters of our own lives. Decades of stress finally melted away. We starting sleeping better, eating better, and making time to work out. We not only lost weight, but I swear that we shed a few years.

Our retirement plan always featured Chicago as a temporary home. It’s expensive to live here, and the winters are too harsh. It’s now the beginning of the end of this lovely chapter. (Where did four years go?) By mid-April a moving van will haul our things away, and we will drive to Arizona. Hopefully we will find renters for the condo, beginning May 1st.

It’s difficult to describe the sense of loss this move will cause. We love this city, and the home we created here. Of course we can visit, but it won’t be the same. We’ll miss our friends, our favorite restaurants, summer evenings on the back porch, the cool breezes off the Lake, the excitement of an evening downtown… and so many other things.

As we get the bubble wrap and packing tape out, I’m starting the long goodbye.

The Weird Science of "Stuff"

Newton developed Three Laws of Motion.  George Carlin had a comedic routine about “Stuff”.  Somehow the two of them missed what seems to be a corollary about the science of stuff.  Here it is:  “The stuff you accumulate grows in direct proportion to the amount of space you have in which to house it.” 

Here’s the problem with that fact.  We have two homes, and are preparing to downsize to one.  We will soon be faced with figuring out how to deal with 4,000 square feet of stuff in 2,000 square feet. Obviously, the only way to do this is to get rid of a bunch of stuff.  We did this in 2008 when we moved from our large home in Memphis to the smaller condo in Chicago.  It was brutal.  We gave things away, we sold stuff, and we threw away mountains of crapola.  One would think we would have learned some sort of lesson.  Yet here we are, about to embark on the same journey of angst over stuff.

Accumulation happens innocently enough as a result of living in two homes.  You want to make a meatloaf, and have no meatloaf pan.  You start playing golf but have no clothes appropriate for the course dress code.  Furniture from Chicago can’t be moved to Prescott while we are spending months at a time in both places.  So now we have “enough” to be comfortable in each home – which means we have too much.

We know how to do this.  Furniture not destined for Prescott will be sold or given away.  Old paperwork will be shredded.  Clothes that don’t fit or haven’t been worn lately will be bagged and taken to the Salvation Army.  But which dishes and glasses will we keep?  What chains of bondage to sentimental items will we have the strength to break?  How completely can we embrace the next chapter of our lives without being hampered by moving too much stuff?

It’s painful to dismantle a comfortable home built over the years.  But I believe the more we look ahead rather than behind, the happier we can be with our lives.  I want people and love around me.  The “stuff” I can leave behind.

Anybody need a meatloaf pan?

Unencumbered

I am beginning to understand why my mother tells me that she doesn’t want more “stuff”. This makes gift-giving more challenging, and generally results in purchases of consumables such as food items, luxurious toiletries, or clothing. At 80, Mom doesn’t feel the need to be in acquisition mode any more. Now I get it.

Stuff makes life more complicated. Stuff has to be organized, stored, maintained, and sometimes (worst of all) packed and transported in a move. We get so accustomed to having our stuff around us that we don’t even know why we have some of it anymore. Regardless, it’s hard to purge ourselves of it.

Don’t get me wrong… I like my creature comforts. I have gone to great lengths to create a comfortable nest for myself and my husband. But after moving households several times, I have also experienced the euphoria of leaving mountains of unwanted baggage by the curb for garbage pickup. It’s a freeing feeling.

The purging process is painful. It has to be accomplished a drawer, a box, a closet at a time. We must face some hard facts like, “OK, I’m never going to be a size 8 again”, or “My snow skiing days are behind me”.

Letting go allows us to move forward unencumbered, fully enjoying the present and looking to the future instead of being tangled in the flotsam and jetsam of the past.

Now go tackle that junk drawer!

What "Moves" Me

I’ve read several stories about people relocating in retirement to their dream location – only to move back “home” within a year or two. What some find is that starting over in a new town is challenging. They miss their friends and their comfortable routines…favorite restaurants, stores they recognize, the place they built over time in the familiar community.

Many of us have dreams about where we would live if it weren’t for the constraints of jobs, family, or money. Dreams are great; in fact I believe they are important to creating a happy life. But introspection and planning are important too. And we should always leave a little room for serendipity.

I’m one of those odd birds who like change. I grew up in Maryland and went to college and started my career in the Chicago area. Over the years, Hilton moved me to Dallas (where Ron and I met), to Las Vegas, and then to Memphis. When we retired in 2008, we moved to Chicago. In the spring of 2010 we bought a house in Prescott, AZ. One of our friends recently referred to us as “rolling stones”. We’ve loved the adventures moving has brought to our lives. In each location, we reveled in exploring, meeting people, establishing our routines, and making a place to live into a home.

When we have moved in the past, the most difficult changes to face were dismantling our home, and leaving friends behind. That’s when you feel keenly what is really important. But the reality is that we have confidence that we can make a home wherever we choose. Our families are spread around the country, and so are our friends. Reunions are sweet, special events.

What moves me these days is the continued joy we get in becoming intimate with our adopted city of Chicago, the awe of exploring the natural wonders that the Prescott area has to offer, and interacting with all of the people close to us.

It was particularly moving and joyful to ring in the New Year at Talking Rock Ranch with our friends in Prescott. What a pleasure to look around the room and see all the happy faces, to accept greetings, hugs and kisses, and to wriggle around the dance floor in a celebration of life. Hello 2011! I think YOU ROCK!

Setting Up Household (Again)

In our married life, Ron and I have moved 3 times – Dallas to Vegas, Vegas to Memphis, and Memphis to Chicago. We are pretty familiar with the complex process of closing one household down and setting up the next. When we transitioned from Memphis to Chicago, we had some overlap when we were enjoying both homes. We’re doing that again for this move to Prescott (#4). Chicago will continue to be our primary residence for the next year or two, so we won’t be stripping the house to set up the new place in Prescott. This makes things a little complicated…expensive too.

Our approach is to consider the items we know will make the move, and try not to make purchases that duplicate them. However, to spend quality time in Prescott we needed some basic things like dishes, cookware, and silverware. We’ll decide later what things are keepers, and what will be donated, repurposed, or sold.

So far, the biggest challenge is furniture shopping. Choices are somewhat limited. And if you go outside Prescott, as we did to Phoenix on Tuesday, delivery becomes problematic. There’s a sectional sofa I want at La-Z-Boy, but they only deliver to Prescott once a month. Timing of our next visit will have to be coordinated with that in mind. Delivery charges are also high, since we are 2 hours from Phoenix and an hour from Flagstaff. That just has to be taken into account as part of the price of living here.  And it's so beautiful here that the cost is worth it.

A fun aspect of this process is that we have learned a lot over the years about what works for us and the essentials of making a household a home. The discussions Ron and I have over furnishings and decorating decisions are lively and interesting. Ron isn’t one to leave all the design decisions to me, so if I have something specific in mind I must use all my feminine wiles and negotiating skills. And I have to be flexible and keep an open mind; because Ron has really good ideas (and mine are sometimes a bit “out there”).

By the time we head back to Chicago, we can feel good about a number of accomplishments: All utilities activated; leak in propane tank discovered and repaired (whew); repaired leak and wall in laundry room; kitchen ready for action; rug & chairs for living room delivered; washer & dryer delivered and installed; new air filters throughout; new vacuum cleaner put into service; table & chairs for outdoor patio; lighted makeup mirror on bathroom wall; windows washed; kitchen & bathrooms scrubbed; introduction to (fully tricked out and awesome) fitness center; 9 holes of golf and meeting new friends.

We are fully cognizant that we are setting the foundation for the next phase of our runaway life, and it’s really, really exciting. For us, a dream is once again becoming reality. We wish the same for you.

Just A Year Ago

It was just about a year ago that we sold our house in Memphis and readied ourselves for the big move to Chicago. Ron and I are thankful how well everything fell into place – although the pace was fast and furious. Planning and execution are critical. Adding your energy and tenacity (sprinkled with a little luck) will help you achieve your goals.

We worked HARD to prepare our house to go on the market. You know how this happens… All the things you meant to do the years you lived in the house now must be done immediately. We refinished stairs, painted the hallway, renovated a bathroom, replaced the front door, added baseboard molding in the guest bedroom – and those are just the projects I remember off the top of my head. Personal clutter was packed away to depersonalize space, avoid distracting potential buyers, and make rooms look bigger. The house was carefully staged to help people imagine living there. We cleaned everything until the house was fresh and sparkling. The day of the Open House was beautiful and sunny, so we flung open windows to let the spring air in. The lawn was lush and green, azaleas and dogwoods were blooming, the birds were singing… You get the picture. We had a good turnout and accepted an offer on the house that evening. Planning and execution paid off quickly!

Takeaway: Sweat equity invested in house prep and staging is CRITICAL to a fast sale. (We watch a lot of HGTV.)

The next big step was divestiture! We planned to move from a 3200 sq ft home to a 1500 sq ft condo with a 500 sq ft basement. Simplifying our life meant brutally paring down our belongings, which turned out to be spiritually liberating! We sold most of our furniture to friends, the family that bought the house, and our housekeepers. There were numerous trips to Goodwill and the Hazardous Materials disposal center (for paint and old electronics), and a satisfying stop at the Memphis Music Academy to donate Ron’s trombone. Then, the Moving Sale extravaganza in our driveway, where we sold whatever was worth selling. When the sale ended, we had $1600 in cash and a pile of unsold items to put by the curb for trash pickup. Another step in the plan had been successfully executed. Exhausted, off we went that evening to the farewell party thrown by our friend Dave Byerly. Champagne, anyone?

Takeaway: Simplifying your life means letting go of “stuff” you don’t truly need.

Movers arrived just a few days later and helped us finish packing and getting out of the house. When we drove away for the last time, we breathed deep sighs – very cognizant of closing one chapter of our lives and stepping into a new and exciting one that we had to freedom to write for ourselves.

Takeaway: Be sure to budget for professional movers. This process is physically and emotionally exhausting, and you have a hard deadline to vacate your home.

Memphis looked good in our rear view mirror when we left on May 31, 2008. I was glad we had the 8+ hour drive to Chicago to decompress and let reality sink in. In a 6 week timeframe, we had quit our jobs, sold our house and many belongings, said goodbye to friends, and moved. Our heads were spinning, and everything felt a little unreal. Our carefully nurtured dreams had begun to come true. It wasn’t magic and it wasn’t all luck. It was the result of more than 15 years of planning – and it felt AMAZING!