I'm Not Always in My Pajamas...

The question people ask me most often about life in retirement is, “What do you do all day?” (One friend calls and asks, “Are you still in your pajamas?” He hates it when the answer is yes. Life has settled into a casual routine here on Bittersweet Place…

MORNING: Coffee first! Then a little morning news and some Today Show. This is usually followed by powering up the PC and checking eMail, Facebook, and LinkedIn to see what’s shakin’ among my network peeps. Then I unload the dishwasher and we have a low-carb breakfast. Time to make the bed and dress in workout clothes. Workout in the Man Cave (5 days a week, for about an hour and a half) includes time on the elliptical, some weight lifting, and/or some Wii games.

AFTERNOON: A light, low-carb lunch (more on the low-carb discipline next week) followed by a shower or bubble bath. Throw in some laundry – then fold and put away clothes. Check eMail, etc. again. Write for one of my blogs. Recreational or educational reading for an hour or two – or run an errand (grocery, hardware, or drug store). Make some phone calls (social or “administrative”). Check to see what the stock market did today. It’s almost Happy Hour…

EVENING: Begins with a glass of wine or two in the front room, watching the neighborhood go by, talking with Ron, and planning dinner. Ron is the family chef, and usually makes dinner (low-carb again). I’m the cleaner-upper; loading and starting the dishwasher and wiping up the kitchen. The rest of the evening, we usually watch something on TV, pop in a movie, or read for a while. Between 10 and 11pm we head off to bed.

That’s the norm on an uneventful day. We can’t believe how fast days go by, with just these simple activities. How did we ever get anything done when we were working? Thank God for the luxury of time we so sorely needed for our mental and physical health. So far, this has truly been a period of recovery for us.

Now that the weather is finally getting nicer, there are more and more activities available. Our neighbor has started a book club. We have tickets to a handful of Cubs games. Next week, the new Modern Wing of the Art Institute of Chicago opens, and as members we get a pre-opening preview. On occasion, we like to go out to lunch or dinner (Alfredo at Fornello’s knows us by name). There is great theatre here, and we have been to see a half dozen shows already. Summer will be full of opportunities to go to street fairs all over the city. Lake Michigan, the beach at Montrose Harbor, and the golf course at Waveland will soon be beckoning. It’s great to be in Chicago in the summer.

Embracing Simple Pleasures

When I was working, sometimes I felt upset (to tears) about not having enough time for myself. I’m not sure that I even knew what I would do with that luxury, because I was so bound up in battling the resentment. Now I know! I needed to have more fun, relax, take up a hobby, be more giving to my friends and family, and pamper myself.

Consider the appealing prospect of pampering yourself and a wide range of thoughts or mental images will emerge – potentially very different for all of us. Now that I have more time, I am discovering deeply satisfying pleasures in pampering myself in these simple ways:

· Taking a leisurely bubble bath instead of a shower
· Reading a few chapters of a novel before going to bed
· Exploring a new software package
· Splurging on olive oil and coriander-scented dishwashing liquid
· Savoring fresh raspberries with my Greek yogurt at breakfast
· Washing up with lavender and chamomile-scented foaming hand wash
· Napping with a golf tournament on TV (those commentators have such soothing voices)
· Shopping from my sofa by looking through the latest catalogs
· Reading books that help me explore myself
· Sending greeting cards to family and friends
· Going out for an extended lunch, accompanied by good wine
· Treating my feet to a luxurious softening crème as I slip into bed
· Calling a friend out of the blue just to chat
· Cooking an elaborate new dish for a meal
· Chatting casually with a neighbor
· Taking a walk in the park or on the beach
· Writing this blog

It’s telling that these fairly normal things qualify, in my book, as self-pampering. It’s not good to get to the point where Job = Life. When I had any free time while I was working, I would too often become a zombie in front of the TV, or go to the mall and shop for things I didn’t need (aka “Retail Therapy”). Not surprisingly, neither of those activities made my leisure time more fulfilling.

Be kind and take time to pamper yourself – not only will you be happier, but so will those around you!

Just A Year Ago

It was just about a year ago that we sold our house in Memphis and readied ourselves for the big move to Chicago. Ron and I are thankful how well everything fell into place – although the pace was fast and furious. Planning and execution are critical. Adding your energy and tenacity (sprinkled with a little luck) will help you achieve your goals.

We worked HARD to prepare our house to go on the market. You know how this happens… All the things you meant to do the years you lived in the house now must be done immediately. We refinished stairs, painted the hallway, renovated a bathroom, replaced the front door, added baseboard molding in the guest bedroom – and those are just the projects I remember off the top of my head. Personal clutter was packed away to depersonalize space, avoid distracting potential buyers, and make rooms look bigger. The house was carefully staged to help people imagine living there. We cleaned everything until the house was fresh and sparkling. The day of the Open House was beautiful and sunny, so we flung open windows to let the spring air in. The lawn was lush and green, azaleas and dogwoods were blooming, the birds were singing… You get the picture. We had a good turnout and accepted an offer on the house that evening. Planning and execution paid off quickly!

Takeaway: Sweat equity invested in house prep and staging is CRITICAL to a fast sale. (We watch a lot of HGTV.)

The next big step was divestiture! We planned to move from a 3200 sq ft home to a 1500 sq ft condo with a 500 sq ft basement. Simplifying our life meant brutally paring down our belongings, which turned out to be spiritually liberating! We sold most of our furniture to friends, the family that bought the house, and our housekeepers. There were numerous trips to Goodwill and the Hazardous Materials disposal center (for paint and old electronics), and a satisfying stop at the Memphis Music Academy to donate Ron’s trombone. Then, the Moving Sale extravaganza in our driveway, where we sold whatever was worth selling. When the sale ended, we had $1600 in cash and a pile of unsold items to put by the curb for trash pickup. Another step in the plan had been successfully executed. Exhausted, off we went that evening to the farewell party thrown by our friend Dave Byerly. Champagne, anyone?

Takeaway: Simplifying your life means letting go of “stuff” you don’t truly need.

Movers arrived just a few days later and helped us finish packing and getting out of the house. When we drove away for the last time, we breathed deep sighs – very cognizant of closing one chapter of our lives and stepping into a new and exciting one that we had to freedom to write for ourselves.

Takeaway: Be sure to budget for professional movers. This process is physically and emotionally exhausting, and you have a hard deadline to vacate your home.

Memphis looked good in our rear view mirror when we left on May 31, 2008. I was glad we had the 8+ hour drive to Chicago to decompress and let reality sink in. In a 6 week timeframe, we had quit our jobs, sold our house and many belongings, said goodbye to friends, and moved. Our heads were spinning, and everything felt a little unreal. Our carefully nurtured dreams had begun to come true. It wasn’t magic and it wasn’t all luck. It was the result of more than 15 years of planning – and it felt AMAZING!

When One Door Closes...

By departing our corporate work life, we allowed a door to close behind us. Instead of assuming that another door would open, what we envisioned was an open field where we could run in any direction, pick daisies, swing at golf balls, or even lie down and take a nap. The feeling of freedom was heady. Still is.

For months, we have gloried in our ability to relax and enjoy ourselves. We are healthier and happier than we have been in a long time, because we are not working and have more time to spend taking care of ourselves and each other.

But in the midst of the relative isolation of a Chicago winter, I began to reach out to friends and former colleagues by networking online. I’m frankly surprised by the joy and satisfaction I’m experiencing as a result of this contact. Connecting with close friends in a different way, finding lost friends and catching up, reconnecting with former colleagues whose careers have taken fascinating paths, and making new acquaintances based on mutual interests – all of these things are now easier as a result of social and professional networking on the internet. Personally, I am tuned in on Facebook and LinkedIn. The more I put into these channels, the more I seem to get back in return.

For example, let me tell you about this week:

On Monday, I had a delightful and stimulating lunch with an admired colleague I worked with 20 years ago at Hilton. She now works for a strategic meeting, incentive and event production agency headquartered in Chicago. We reconnected via LinkedIn just a few weeks ago (because of a mutual connection). She showed me examples of some of the work her company does, and we talked about the possibility of me doing some freelance writing for them on proposals. We have decided to meet for lunch on a monthly basis so we can share stories and ideas. I’m thrilled!

Wednesday, I headed to Evanston to meet a Northwestern student for whom I have been providing some pro bono Marketing consulting. He has an eco-friendly office supply company, and is looking for ways to grow his business. On Monday, he distributed a press release I wrote on his behalf, and is currently hoping for responses that will result in some exposure in the local media (including WGN TV). Our relationship also came from meeting up through a Northwestern group on LinkedIn.

After meeting with my new entrepreneurial friend, I moved on to a Career Day sponsored by Northwestern’s Medill School of Journalism – an opportunity extended to me via email as an NU Alum. I was a bit of an anomaly in the crowd of attendees (because of my…ahem…experience), but I made two great new contacts. One is a producer at WGN TV, who is now interested in the story about our eco-friendly entrepreneur. The other is a “Creative Web Director” for a company who uses freelance writers to develop content for web sites. With my love for writing, this is something I’m interested in exploring. It was a great visit to campus – and I got to see the purple and white crocuses blooming in full force on my walk from the el station to the student center by Lake Michigan.

What a stimulating week I’ve had! Being retired doesn’t mean I’m lying on the couch watching Oprah. To me, it means I have the freedom to explore my passions and to live the next chapter of my life.

Early Retirement vs. A Boot In The Ass

I have to admit that, since the tanking of the stock market accelerated after our retirement, there have been moments where Ron and I have looked at each other wondering, “What have we done?”. But only moments. Perhaps more accurately, we have flashes of momentary panic.

But there are 3 reasons we consider ourselves fortunate now, in spite of financial losses:

The Blackstone Group bought our former employer, Hilton Hotels Corporation, at a 40% premium over the trading value at the time. They took the company private, and bought out all of our stock. If we still owned our Hilton stock today, the value would have dropped approximately 50% (an assumption based upon where Hilton’s competitors are trading today). Our retirement plans would have been postponed by at least 5 years, instead of accelerated by 2 years with the buyout.

When the sale of the company to Blackstone closed, Co-Chairmen Barron Hilton and Steve Bollenbach were officially out of the picture. Barron Hilton (founder Conrad Hilton’s son) is an honorable man who was proud of and cared about the hotels that carry his family name. He and Steve Bollenbach always did business in a manner that exhibited respect for the people that made Hilton Hotels Corporation one of the leading hotel companies of the world. Over the years, I had the honor to meet both men on several occasions. They were gracious gentlemen with class. With Blackstone and new CEO Chris Nassetta, the legacy of a corporate family immediately went by the wayside, for a colder more calculating view of the business – not a hospitality business. Merely a business. That was a transition I had no interest in witnessing firsthand. I am happy not to be a party to it.

Finally, there is the matter of the official “Corporate Transformation”. In the name of transformation, hundreds of people around the world are losing their jobs, and some work previously done in the U.S. by Hilton team members will be outsourced overseas. Won’t that be a popular decision to explain, with the U.S. in the midst of its deepest recession in over a quarter of a century? So… The irony of this is that if I had been more loyal to the company and had not retired early, most likely I would have lost my job anyway. Would you rather feel that you are in control of your own destiny, or wait for the reward for your years of service to be a boot in the ass? I feel fortunate that the decision that seemed right for us has turned out to be SO FREAKIN’ RIGHT, and JUST IN TIME!

Disquieting though, is the view in my rear view mirror. Years of hard work, dedication, and several relocations have resulted in most of my friends being Hilton people. Great people they are too. They aren’t prepared to be statistics – they are individuals with mortgages, children to feed and put through school, and lives that shouldn’t be interrupted. Help your friends in need when you can. Plans don’t always come to fruition as hoped. But we all have to start with a plan. What we may not always realize is the importance of having a fall back plan.