Deciding Where to Settle Down for Retirement

A treasured friend of mine recently sent me an email looking for my opinions about his list of possible retirement locales. He is a successful surgeon who is having trouble imagining his life after retirement. The request he sent, punctuated by, “C’mon Runaway Boomer, don’t let me down!” not only made me laugh, but got me thinking about how to approach the big decision about where to retire in a systematic fashion.

It’s very important to try to visualize how you want life to unfold once you are free from a career that absorbs most of your time and energy. What are the things you would do more of, if you only had time? Many look forward to having the freedom to spend more time socializing with friends and family. Others dream of travel and exploration. For some, it will be a time for more physical action and creativity. You may have thoughts about pursuing a second career, or volunteering in your community. This visualization step requires some pleasant introspection over a period of time.

Picking a geographic location can be complicated. First, consider that you may not need or want to move at all! If you already have a great social situation and the support of friends and family nearby, do you really want to start over in a new place? Or does your soul yearn for the beauty of the mountains or beach and a new beginning? Here are some practical suggestions for going about narrowing down your list of possible locations:

• Start taking short vacations (even 3-4 days) to check out places that you think you might be interested in. Make an appointment with a realtor to take you around, so you can get a feel for housing and neighborhoods available.
• Pick up magazines like "Where to Retire" or “Money”. They do nice profiles of towns and highlight different aspects for consideration, like cost of living, healthcare, taxes, etc.
• You can think about your post-working life in phases. If you decide to buy somewhere, it doesn't have to be forever – it may merely be your next chapter.
• See if you can narrow your options a bit... Mountains, desert, coastal, urban? All have their own beauty, but are all very different.
• Make a list of what you definitely want in a home... Single family or condo, # of bedrooms/baths, view, fireplace, garage, porch or patio, single level or 2-story, etc. This will help you when you work with a realtor, and also help you visualize how you want to live.
• Browse home sales websites for different locales so you can get an idea of what is available and see what places look like.
• Go visit friends in different areas so they can introduce you to what it's like to really live somewhere.
• Look at official websites of cities and town. Email requests for visitor and/or relocation guides. Most places offer them for free.

One more important thought… Be open to surprises changing your plan. My husband and I visited Prescott, Arizona a year and a half ago because it kept popping up on lists of good places to retire. It was love at first sight, and we bought a home in Talking Rock Ranch (SURPRISE: two years earlier than planned), on a golf course (SURPRISE: we had never discussed this before), and making scores of lovely friends (SURPRISE: an amazing bonus to buying into a community). We are having the time of our lives.

Enjoy your decision-making process. It’s a luxury to have the freedom to create your own grand plan.

Comfort in Routine

As the world turns and living creates turmoil beyond our control, I find comfort in personal routine. For example, eating is a necessary routine and “Comfort Food” is virtual transportation back to simpler times, when Mommy fed me favorite foods that made me warm and happy. I love mom’s Meatloaf, and various Greek dishes that evoke the memories of the fellowship at our church. When I have those foods now, they simply make me happy on a soulful level.

Retired now, and able to shield ourselves from much of the chaos around us, we have discovered a few things. We don’t much care for having our routine involuntarily interrupted. Our tolerance for personal drama has withered. The new life we have orchestrated puts a high value on calm, relaxation, and pleasure. Perceived attacks on that stress-free lifestyle are defended. There certainly will be life events that disrupt the peace – accident, illness, family misfortune – but we will deal with those as they occur, without artificially creating or anticipating disaster.

The day begins when I make a pot of coffee, open the window shades, and check in on my friends online. Before showering and dressing, I make the bed (it’s a rule). I try to work out 5 days a week, but I have to admit that’s not a routine quite yet, and my exercise often takes different forms (elliptical or treadmill/crunches/weights, or a round of golf, a hike in Prescott or a long walk in the city) at different times of day.

When I’m tired and ready for bed, the routines are short and sweet. I wash my face and brush my teeth, and turn down the bed. My feet get a luxurious treatment with a lavender-scented shea butter crème, before they slide between the sheets. I usually fall asleep easily, with the smell of lavender on my hands.

These little routines create normalcy that simply grounds my day. When my schedule was more hectic, many things fell by the wayside as stress and time pressures caused me to foolishly deprive myself of the simple pleasures of finding comfort in routine. No more. I deserve this.

Don't Forget to Look Back

Last night, sated by a prime rib dinner at Talking Rock Club, Ron looked around our home and said, “I never could have guessed we would be here”. He was recalling the years of hard work and good fortune that allowed us to retire early. That led us both to think further back…

Ron’s paternal grandfather worked as a carpenter for a coal mine in southern Illinois. Later, health issues forced a job change. He became a janitor for the local school system. Ron’s father, Jim, left at 17 to join the Navy, get an education, and make a better life for himself. After the Navy, with the help of the GI Bill, Jim earned an engineering degree from the University of Illinois and became an electrical engineer. He married Barbara, a true farmer’s daughter, college graduate, and teacher. They raised 5 children. When the family would go to see Jim’s parents, they visited a home that was little more than a shack, with no indoor bathroom. But Ron and all of his siblings went to college. It’s humbling to remember that there is just one generation between us and an outhouse, or a hard life of farming that included walking the beans and slopping the hogs.

My own paternal grandfather emigrated from Greece. My papou (grandfather in Greek) was a furrier – a good living that allowed him to send John, his son/my father to Northwestern University to earn a degree in electrical engineering. Mom and Dad raised 4 kids, and sent us all to college. Early on, we lived in modest homes and pinched pennies. Vacations were taken once a year, via a packed station wagon, to visit family in New Hampshire. My idea of comfort food was derived from dishes like Creamed Tuna on Toast, which stretched a can of tuna fish to feed a family of 6, served with a salad. The occasional dinner out as a family was burgers and milkshakes at the Ho-Jo’s drive-in.

Ron and I both made the most of good public education and, later, advanced schooling paid for by our parents. Neither Ron nor I were provided with a car when we turned 16. We both worked real jobs for pocket money and our own savings, from our mid-teens on. When we graduated college, we moved out of our parents homes and started our own independent lives and careers. As a young couple, I remember visiting friends who had just moved into a lovely $100K home in Plano, TX and thinking, “We’ll never be able to afford a house like this.”

Fast forward to 2011. Retired now, we (temporarily) own two nice homes – a condo in the city and a ranch cottage on a golf course with mountain views. We eat out several times a week. Our next vehicle will be an electric golf cart. Good friends and family enrich our lives, which couldn’t be better. In April, we will celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary, and once again we will count our blessings and say,

“We never could have guessed we would be here.”

I Admit, I'm Selfish

When I watched President Obama’s State of the Union Address this week, I listened with a somewhat biased mind – biased toward the protection of my happy, healthy, financially-secure life. I often describe my political leanings as “Financially Conservative and Socially Liberal”. I am wary of government waste and free-spending that drive taxes higher without long-term benefit for the majority of U.S. residents. And, honestly, after working since the age of 15 (sometimes 7 days a week at 2 jobs), paying off my student loans, working a high-stress corporate job that infringed on my personal life for years, paying taxes at a pretty high rate, and never once having to file for unemployment – I strongly believe I have earned the right to protect the life I have built!

There were two statements from the SOTU Address that spoke directly to me:

“What I’m not willing to do is go back to the days when insurance companies could deny someone coverage because of a preexisting condition. “

Now that we are no longer covered by a corporate-subsidized health insurance program, Ron and I pay for our own individual health insurance. Although I consider myself to be pretty healthy now, my history as a colon cancer-survivor, among other minor managed conditions (like high cholesterol), are problematic. My application for individual coverage was denied, and I was only able to obtain coverage because Illinois has a government-subsidized program for “high risk” candidates. I pay $700 a month for insurance, and have a $2500 annual deductable. Arizona has no such program (until ObamaCare kicks in fully in 2014), so I don’t know what we will do for my health insurance when we move in 2012. We may only be able to obtain Catastrophic coverage. It’s a crap shoot, and it makes me angry.

“To put us on solid ground, we should also find a bipartisan solution to strengthen Social Security for future generations. We must do it without putting at risk current retirees, the most vulnerable, or people with disabilities; without slashing benefits for future generations; and without subjecting Americans’ guaranteed retirement income to the whims of the stock market.”

Ron and I have planned meticulously for many years in regard to the funding of our retirement. We had to make some conservative assumptions about Social Security, earnings on investments, taxes, and inflation. If there are any really major changes that invalidate our assumptions, our future will be at risk. We weathered the recession pretty well, and are always willing to modify our plans; but I don’t want the government pulling the rug out from under us financially.

Although I was admittedly self-focused about some of the content - I did listen to the entire address, and have interest in and opinions about most of what Obama put on the table. For example, I would love to see high speed rail throughout the country. I believe that we should take better care of the soldiers that serve our country, along with their families. Personally, I thought the Sputnik reference was kind of off the mark. Overall, I was gratified to hear Obama show evidence of a more centrist position; a position I believe better reflects the policies of the majority of his constituency across the country.

Time to Take Care

The New Year has brought me a renewed commitment to eating right and exercising regularly. We are thankful that our life of leisure allows us to spend the time required to do both properly without feeling frenetic.

Seven years ago (the year after recovering from my bout with colon cancer), there was a period when I was getting up at 5:30am to get to the gym by 6. I’d work out for an hour, then hurry home to get ready to leave for work. Work days were long…often lasting until 6 or 7pm. Exhausted and really hungry, I got into a bad habit of eating whatever I wanted and making it worse by eating late in the evening. Somehow I felt like I “deserved” it…for being good about my workout regimen, and giving so much to my job. Phooey and Hogwash!

Now retired, it’s a pleasure to take the time to take care of ourselves. I can do an extensive workout, taking about an hour and a half. Usually I do 45 minutes to an hour of cardio (elliptical or treadmill, and stationary bike), 100 to 150 abdominal crunches, and a short circuit with weights for some strength and toning. Here at Talking Rock Ranch, we have a first-class fitness center. The cardio equipment has TV’s and headphones, which keep me from staring at the clock. (“All I need to do is watch another HGTV show, and I’m done!”) No excuses in Chicago either, as Ron’s Man Cave has a TV, an elliptical, free weights, and a mat for floor exercises and stretching. Since I’m getting into the routine in Prescott, I can continue my goal to workout 5 days a week when we get back to the city. Ideally, I would like to drop another 20 pounds.

As far as eating goes… We know how to do this right. I have to count my carbs, to keep Type II Diabetes at bay. Low Carbs = No Meds for Laurel. Lots of protein, plenty of fiber, some dairy, and the right veggies and fruits are the ticket. We stay away from most processed/packaged foods. Those we do buy, we check labels carefully. Read the nutritional information! Many so-called “healthy” products are loaded with unhealthy carbs, silly levels of sodium, and other chemicals you don’t need.

I’ll get off my soapbox now. Actually, I was giving myself a pep talk. Onward to a better body!

Top 10 Facts that Prove I'm Hooked on Golf

#1: I have a golfer's tan

#2: You know, I really don't care when my golf cap gives me hat hair...

#3: Two pair of golf shoes isn't enough 

#4: I now consider televised golf tournaments exciting entertainment

#5: I have a painful regret that I never played golf with my dad

#6: The only pencils I have in my house are little stubby golf pencils

#7: Golf tees fall out of my pockets when I'm searching for other things

#8: My next car is going to be a golf cart

#9: I react exactly like Pavlov's dog when I hear someone hit a drive off the tee behind our house

#10: There is a new man in my life - my golf pro

Rationalizing Dual Identities

I’m retired from the corporate rat race, and yet I have established a consulting practice, Haropulos Bailey Consulting. Occasionally, this dual identity profile I have espoused becomes a little awkward to maintain. The issue is really my online presence.

I have a single Google profile and two Blogs. This blog allows me to ramble about my transition to retired life. The other is a professional blog (http://habaconsulting.blogspot.com), in which I expound upon business and career-related subjects. So, am I retired or am I a consultant? The answer is either “Neither” or “Both”.

Assuming that my plans pan out, I don’t ever again have to be a corporate minion. (No offense – that worked out pretty well for me for almost 30 years.) But it doesn’t mean I will never work again. I truly am excited with the idea of applying my experience and brain to short-term assignments on behalf of others. I want to consult on hospitality, customer service, and marketing/communications challenges. My yet-to-be-incorporated company, Haropulos Bailey Consulting, is intended to provide an identity around the services I have to offer.

I’ve done just a little consulting to date, with a former colleague I've known a long time, who is an exec with a company here in Chicago. I hope to do a little more, with other smart people who I respect and like. It’s time to create a web site and reach out to possible clients with a little marketing. A few hours or days here and there of man-behind-the-curtain action would be perfect. My ego no longer has need of the spotlight.

So I’d better think about how to reconcile my retired identity and my consultant identity online. If you Google Laurel Haropulos Bailey, you see evidence of both. Being “retired” could easily adversely affect people’s perception of the seriousness of my interest in consulting. I think the answer is to tweak my online identity as a retired person, and rationalize it with my consulting identity. But how?

Suggestions, anyone?

Winter Escape with a Purpose

It’s always been our plan to stay in Chicago for just a few years – until we’ve “done” the city, and get weary of the expense, the crowds, and the politics. It’s probably not the greatest place for old-age retirement (although you might be surprised how many retirement communities there are here). So when we moved to Chicago, we decided that every year we need to make at least one trip to the southwest to scout our permanent home locale. It turns out that late winter is a good time to go; allowing us to temporarily escape the effects of cabin fever brought on by the brutally long season of cold, gray, snowy misery.

Last year, we took advantage of one of Southwest’s “Gotta Get Away” fares and flew out to Albuquerque for a week. We stayed at a Homewood Suites property on the north side of the city, and made several day trips to Santa Fe. The weather was fantastic, and we had a good time exploring the area. Pulte Homes has a beautiful planned community in Rio Rancho, and we looked at their model homes to get a sense of what was available in the area. It was very encouraging. There were 3 homes we both liked, ranging from $150,000 to $230,000. We liked Albuquerque and haven’t ruled it out, but aren’t totally convinced it’s the right place for us. Santa Fe is really appealing, but much pricier.

This year we plan to drive out to Prescott, Arizona to check it out. Prescott is in the high desert, 99 miles north of Phoenix. The population is just over 40,000, but it boasts several museums, a courthouse square near the restaurants and shops on “Whiskey Row”, summer concerts, a regional hospital, golf courses, and several colleges/universities. We could even scout the Cubs during spring training in Mesa. It’s an easy drive to Flagstaff, Sedona, the South Rim of the Grand Canyon, and even Las Vegas. We’ve booked four nights in a Bed & Breakfast, and plan to spend a few hours with a realtor to scope out the housing. I’m working on convincing Ron that we should bring our golf clubs and get in a round or two. A side trip to the Grand Canyon for some hiking and photo opportunities on the rim trails will wrap up the trip before we start the drive home.

How will we know when we have found the right place to settle? We want the dry air of the desert, but not the harshest heat…four seasons without extremes…outdoor recreation opportunities…cultural activities…a reasonable cost of living…the easy pace of a small town, with easy access to a big city. I think we’ll know what’s right when we see it. We’ll keep you posted.

Visualize Your Retired Life

So far my blogs about retirement planning have covered the foundation of the process…examining your current spending habits, aligning spending with your priorities, and options for saving. Next, we’ll explore how to project what your expenses will be over the years AFTER retirement, calculating how much money you need to amass in preparation to retire, and gaining confidence that your plan is viable.

But before we can move on with financial planning, I need to encourage you to dream. Yes, DREAM! If you develop a vision of the life you want to leave after your work years, you can more easily create a plan focused to achieve your goals. So dream, think, and talk about your future – with your spouse, family, and friends. The more you do so, the more real and specific the ideas will become.

Some decisions will directly drive your planning, including where you will live, and in what type of home. This will drive your housing costs, which are often a large percentage of monthly expenses. Health insurance may also be a major expense, especially if you have chronic health issues. Your retirement budget will need to account for your appetite for travel, entertainment, hobbies, personal grooming, insurance, taxes, a new car every however many years, moving expenses, etc.

Don’t forget that your activities and lifestyle (and therefore your expenses) will change as you age. Eventually you may need to sell a home and arrange for assisted living. Thinking about this stage of your life may be a little hard to face, but is necessary. Know state laws where you will live. Consult a lawyer. Obtain a living will and a last will. Make your own decisions for your life, while you’re in a position to consider them objectively.

Recognize that your vision for your retired life may change over time. I’ve read that some retirees move to their dream location, and then discover that they miss their friends and the familiarity of an area in which they lived for years. It’s easy to romanticize a vacation destination, only to find that it’s another thing entirely to live there year round. Ideally, there will be enough flexibility in your plan to allow for a change of heart.

Sit down and relax and let your mind wander. How do you see yourself living happily 10, 20, 30 years from now? Now add a dose of practicality (OK-maybe you can’t live in a mansion in the Hamptons). Next week, we’ll look at a methodology for modeling a plan to make the vision a reality.

Living the Dream

Sometimes I just have to stop what I am doing, look at Ron, and say with wonder, “We are living the dream, baby.” All the years of hard work, planning, and saving have given us a new freedom. We are so thankful for each day. Not every day is remarkable, but collectively they are a huge blessing.

Yesterday we went to the driving range and stopped for blue margaritas and nachos at the sidewalk café of a Mexican restaurant on Halsted. Today we played nine holes of golf at Waveland on the most beautiful morning imaginable, with Lake Michigan twinkling in the background. Afterward I soaked my poor sore muscles in a lavender chamomile bubble bath. Tomorrow evening we plan to dress up to go to a rooftop lounge downtown with our neighbor, Steve, for a chance to catch up and be sociable.

The Chicago summer is waning and the Cubs aren’t going to make the playoffs; but we have three trips to look forward to. We’ll spend several weeks in New Hampshire and Maine in September, cruise Italy and Greece later in the fall, and take the train to Memphis for Thanksgiving. Then we have to hunker down for the winter.

Winter will mean books and movies, the NFL, hot soups and casseroles, napping in front of the fireplace, and a quiet Christmas at home. We’ll plan several outings to the symphony and the theater to avoid cabin fever. When the cold weather and snow drags on into March, we may book another trip to warmer parts – probably Arizona. Then we’ll start looking forward to hints of spring.

There are still life concerns for us, like finding new health care when COBRA runs out in November. We worry about family members and friends who have issues. Staying safe and secure living in an urban area cannot be taken for granted. But these things seem manageable, without the day to day stress and pressure of working.

Living the dream, baby…

Financial Pulse Check

At least once a quarter, Ron and I review our investments with our financial advisor. We’ve been working with the same professional for over 15 years, and have a great relationship. Our most recent call took place yesterday.

(Please be aware that the following information is part professional opinion of our financial advisor, and part decisions based on our personal financial situation. In no way should this be considered expert advice on which to base your own financial decisions.)

Our portfolio is split between diversified stock funds, bonds, and cash. Last year’s decline in the stock market certainly affected us adversely – but as our financial advisor says, “It’s not a loss until it’s realized”. As long as the money stays invested for now, there is an opportunity to recover the value. Fortunately, during this volatile period we have had cash available, so have been able to leave our stock funds untouched. The market has improved 8 to 9% since the beginning of the year, but we were warned to expect a pullback in September or October (at least before the holidays), from profit-taking selloffs in the fledgling Bull Market.

Since retirement has actually begun for us, the specific distribution of our investments is pretty conservative. Our tolerance for risk is fairly low, since we no longer have an income to replenish losses. But we hope to be retired for a long time (the rest of our lives), so still need to be invested in stocks to get the type of returns required to fund our retirement. Every investor needs to determine their own tolerance for risk. High risk stock funds can generate anything from high reward to significant loss, and this sort of gamble is not for us at this point in our lives.

One decision we did make is to refinance the mortgage on our condo. Originally, we planned to pay the mortgage off early in 2010 when our ARM (Adjustable Rate Mortgage) resets to a new rate. But we can get a 15-year fixed-rate mortgage at 4.75%, and if we invest the money with which we would have paid off the note, we should get better than a 4.75% return on it. Our bank, UBS, will charge no points and no origination fee, so the fees (title search and appraisal) will be minimal and worth it in the long run.

We always feel more confident after a pulse check with our financial advisor. He provides expert advice and perspective, and gives us a chance to ask questions and discuss our ideas and concerns.

I'm Mostly Not Working

Today, I was late posting my “Retired Early” blog, because I was working. Huh?

When I retired from corporate life, I never actually committed to a total life of leisure. The fact is that I still feel the need to exercise the part of my brain that has all this work experience rattling around in it. But I had to get off the non-stop merry-go-round of corporate politics, deadlines, budgets, takeovers, counterproductive official hierarchies and assorted B.S., before I ended my career unceremoniously on a bell tower with a high-powered rifle.

So I started a consulting business – Haropulos Bailey Consulting. I figure I know as much or more about a lot of things than many consultants who have been paid big bucks by Hilton over the years. I’m smart, and when I have an assignment I work hard and add a lot of value. I have no financial goals to meet and have spent virtually no money on developing my company so far. Via a LinkedIn connection and a lunch date, I got my first (and so far only) client. I’m doing a little work (a few hours here and there) on a project that interests me, with someone I like and admire. I send an invoice, and they pay me. I kinda like it – my little business.

I need to develop a web site and do a little targeted marketing. I’m thinking about that. I also probably need to incorporate, or I will really limit the potential clients who will hire me. And I’m working on getting Ron interested in joining me, so I have another smart person on board – one with technical abilities I do not possess. He likes the “Creative Engineer” title I have proposed for him. Business cards should arrive next week and provide a small carrot for his involvement.

The rewards from my efforts are a little extra pocket money and brief waves of satisfaction. I am still protective of work infringing on my golf or nap time…so we’ll see where this goes.

Next week, my blog will get back to the steps involved in retirement planning. Sorry for the unplanned detour.

A Little Self-Imposed Discipline

There’s not much enforced structure in my life these days. This fact alone relieves a lot of the stress we suffered during our working years. But, for me, a complete lack of structure can lead to unproductive and unsatisfying days that just slip away. I’m not comfortable with just letting these precious days get away from me.

Now I create my own laid-back structure. I think about what I need or want to do during the week and loosely plan what to do and when. Today, I know I need to do some laundry and get to the grocery store. For fun and exercise, we’ll walk to the driving range and swing at a bucket-load of golf balls.

Ron is cool with this loose structure, and is thriving in it. I have found that I need to create some actual deadlines for myself, to introduce a little more discipline and productivity. It’s a rule that the bed must be made every day before I get in the shower. And I have to shower and dress by a certain time of the day. (I’m not going to tell you what time, or you will hate me a little.)

This blog, “Retired Early – The Reality”, is published every Thursday morning. It helps me make sure that I continue to ponder how to define my new life. Somehow, putting my thoughts into words for others to read helps me appreciate everything more. I don’t want to take anything for granted, because I know that the living situation we have today is extraordinary – for us. Enough friends have asked me what we do now and how we got to this point of freedom that I felt it was worth trying to explain it.

Then Haropulos Bailey Consulting started as a little seed of an idea. It seemed like a shame to “waste” all the business experience we have. I’m fortunate to have time to build our offering slowly. I started another (professional) blog, which I publish on Monday mornings, at http://habaconsulting.blogspot.com. The blog reflects my business philosophies. It may or may not result in generation of any business, but I know it’s important to establishing an online presence and a brand identity.

Every day, I spend some time networking on Facebook and LinkedIn. The disciplined aspect is the need to contribute something – that’s how you reap pleasure back from Facebook. My participation on LinkedIn resulted in my first paid consulting work. By actively responding to open Questions in my areas of expertise, I have made new Connections that have enhanced my online experience. Again, the more you give, the more you seem to get back in return.

Being retired doesn’t mean being disengaged. A little personal discipline goes a long way in setting you up to be proud of your accomplishments – a feeling we all need for our self-esteem.

A Virtual Leap

Back in the middle of a brutal Chicago winter, I spent a good amount of time indoors and online for entertainment. Christy, one of my good friends from Memphis urged me to join Facebook to stay better connected with my friends spread far and wide. I was hesitant, but agreed to try it out.

Once I set up a profile for myself and started sending and receiving invitations, it was like being swept into a swift current of a river I hadn’t even known existed! Having moved four times since graduating college and joining the working world, I regretted losing track of some special friends. Suddenly, I was finding them and they were finding me through Facebook. Now I’m connected to 110 friends, which seems like a lot to me!

I’m delighted to have made FB connections with remote family members, some of whom with which we normally only exchanged Christmas cards. My younger sister, Althea, and I use the chat function to catch up with each other. Cousin Johnna posts photos of her girls Claire and Molly, and I plan to see them all (and finally meet their daddy) in Maine in September. I found Lauren Haropulos, a young cousin twice removed, that I did not know. She is a high school student in New York City. (I don’t understand a lot of what she posts, which is in texting lingo – but that’s cool.) Her school was the one in the news about the Swine Flu breakout, and her postings were interesting during that time. (Students at St Francis Prep were calling the school “Swine Prep”.)

I’m grateful to have reconnected with so many dear friends. Kathy, an elementary school friend, sent me an invitation (and sent me digging through boxes to find old class photos) – what a delightful surprise! Emily, a dear friend from Northwestern, is a treasure! Her humor and sweetness bring me a unique joy I had missed since we lost track of each other years ago. I hope to get to Seattle to see her in person. My lifelong friend, Debi and her partner Tim are building a new house in Maryland. She sent a link to a web site where I can see the progress on construction of their dream home. I get to see vacation photos from friends like Fernando & Michelle and Kevin & Jill that I might not otherwise have seen. There are so many more examples of the pleasure social networking has provided to me. It was well worth the virtual leap.

Is there a down side to this trend to online friendship? Not for me. Granted, I have “ignored” some friend requests from a few people who are only acquaintances or business associates, but not friends. (Sorry.) And I have friended a few people who post TMI, so I have hidden their posts. I have only unfriended one person, who shall remain nameless. It’s manageable.

So if you can’t get enough of your friends and family and/or have lost track of some good friends – try Facebook. It’s a perfect example of what’s really good about the internet.

Uh Oh... Caught the Golf Bug

This is such a retirement cliché! I am now hooked on golf. I almost never played before, but now I browse the weather forecast looking for nice days to get to the golf course. If there is only a small window of clear weather, then I can at least sneak in a trip to the driving range. We had a rainy spring in Chicago, but I already have a golfer’s tan. How did this happen?

My dad was a dedicated golfer. He played every weekend, sometimes on both Saturday and Sunday. It was, in part, a social event for him, as he was part of a regular foursome. They would golf early, and have brunch at the club before heading home. When we kids were little, I remember Dad taking us to the driving range as a special treat.

You can’t become a competent golfer by playing once or twice a year. That’s just impossible. But now… We have more time, and we can walk to a 9-hole golf course on the lake. I knew I was committed to trying when Ron surprised me with a beautiful set of clubs two years ago.

It’s hard to have a bad outing when the weather is beautiful, the course is green and fresh, the lake is sparkling and the birds are tweeting. But there are only so many mis-hits you can suffer before beginning to get frustrated. Golf is a muscle memory sport – so the more you swing badly, the less opportunity your body has to experience how to do it right. The worse you do, the more strange things you try to fix what’s wrong. Generally, it just worsens. The golf gods always let you hit just enough really good shots, to keep your hope alive – just to be dashed again and again.

Failure drove me to a golf lesson when we were in Nevada last month. Hallelujah! Mary Ochs, “my” LPGA pro teacher, was fabulous. In an hour lesson (with another freebie 15 minutes), she pinpointed my major issues and coached me to correct them. I hit some balls that made me literally shout with joy! This is the pleasure of golf. It’s so challenging that when you finally do something right – it’s totally exhilarating. I’m still at the point where each time I address the ball, I have a whole checklist I have to work (elbows in, knees bent, butt out, back straight, head down, weight on balls of feet, eyes on ball, relax grip, twist hips, full follow through, etc.). In time, these should come naturally with less thought.

Ron and I still play “best ball” on the course (we both play from the spot of the best shot between the two of us), to keep the game moving and be courteous to the more experienced golfers behind us. Now, some of the best balls are mine! Sometimes I am hitting glorious drives out of the tee box, straight down the fairway. My putting is so-so, but shows promise. I get tired after nine holes (still a lot of swinging to little avail), so a half round is perfect.

I’ve got the golf bug something bad. Gotta go. I need to book a tee time.

From Suburban to Urban Living

Ron and I lived in suburbia throughout our life together (in Dallas, Las Vegas, and Memphis), before moving to Chicago. So we really weren’t sure how much of an adjustment to our lifestyle would be necessary when we moved into a condo in the city. After a year here, we have a handle on it.

The biggest surprise, and a pleasant one, has been how little we use our car. On average, we use the car about twice a month. Back in January, when the weather was really bad, we didn’t use it car all month! (In fact, I think there was a week we didn’t even venture out of the house!) The limited use of the car has been great, considering the cost of fuel. Now we are struggling with how to think about the rising cost of parking, and the cost of insurance. Do we need a car at all? Should we find remote parking that’s less convenient and much less expensive? Still thinking about this.

It's surprisingly quiet in our urban home. Our building was built in the 20’s, and is as solid as a fortress. In addition, the one block street we live on is all residential. It gets a little noisy when classes begin and end at the two schools near us – but that doesn’t last for long. Otherwise, we are rarely disturbed. We don’t notice traffic noise at night at all.

We walk much more here than in suburbia. We used to take leisurely walks in our Memphis neighborhood, but now we walk with purpose to stores, restaurants, the library, the el station, the golf course, and to and through the park…almost everywhere. This immediately resulted in some natural weight loss, even before we changed our eating habits last fall. When we moved here, I struggled with walking 2 miles. Now I can walk 5 miles in a day without popping the Advil PM before I go to bed.

I was worried that Ron would miss puttering in his yard, but that has proven not to be an issue. Our building has a small front yard, and we are on the landscape committee. We’re gearing up to make improvements that will require some sweat equity, and I think that will be satisfying for both of us.

We’ve become more eco-friendly in the city. We have always recycled, but our consciousness has now extended to our purchases, our use of public transportation, and a general desire to live a more sustainable lifestyle. This has been an interesting side effect of urban living.

One final observation… I believe that we have become more outgoing in our contact with neighbors, service providers, and casual acquaintances. This may be more as a result of a reduction in stress and a slower pace of life than it is the suburban/urban thing. We have found our new contacts in Yankee-land to be surprisingly polite, helpful, and friendly. It’s easy to respond in kind.

Road Trip!!

When my husband Ron and his brother Tim planned their annual hiking trip to Utah early this year, I decided to tag along. Instead of flying to Vegas to meet, we planned a multi-day drive. Our hope was to make it a leisurely trip, including sightseeing along the way. We loved the idea of having the time to burn on a road trip.


The Subaru was packed and we pulled out of Chicago on the morning of May 16th, arriving in Las Vegas on May 19th by way of Springfield MO, Amarillo TX, and Gallup NM.


On the 20th, we met up with Tim and headed north to Utah and Zion National Park. (Me at Zion on right.) We took a short hike together to a scenic overlook, and then went back to the hotel. There was a fabulous Mexican restaurant across the street from the Best Western in Zion. The weather was beautiful, and we ate on their outdoor patio with accompaniment by native flute players. That is to say, the flutes were the wooden, native American type (as opposed to the type you hear in a band or orchestra). There was a flute workshop in town, and some of the artists had gathered on the grounds outside the restaurant to “jam” for the evening. Truly lovely.


The next day, when Ron and Tim took off, I headed to Mesquite, NV for 2 days at a resort/spa. The weather was clear and hot, and I enjoyed a quiet and relaxing couple of days on my own. The guys spent their time doing some serious hiking in Bryce Canyon. We met back up in Mesquite on the 23rd. Tim headed for the airport in Las Vegas, and Ron and I headed back to the Lodge in Bryce for a night. He insisted that I see some of the sights before heading home. I’m so glad we did. Bryce is other-worldly, and a must see for anyone! (Ron at Bryce at below left.)


Our route home took us through Moab UT to sightsee in Arches National Park. Zion, Bryce and Arches are all very different and equally amazing, in their own way. Arches has rock formations that look as though they have been created by giants playing with oversized building blocks. Through the ages, the rock formations have been molded by nature’s forces into stunning geological displays.


After more than a week away from home, we were anxious to get on with the last part of the trip. Our drive home took us over the Rockies, through Denver, across Nebraska into Iowa and Des Moines, and finally back to Chicago on May 27th.


It was a great trip, and exactly the type of thing we looked forward to being able to do in retirement. In retrospect, we would take a little more time so that we didn’t have so many one night stops along the way. But it’s a grand country we live in, and we would like to see more this way. I just need a little time to recover before the next long road trip.

10 Things I Learned from Bollywood Dance Class

In April/May, I took a six week class in Bollywood Dancing. Bollywood Dance has become internationally famous by way of the popularity of Indian movies, and has most recently gotten more attention in the U.S. as a result of Slumdog Millionaire. I was drawn to this class because of an interest in world music, and a desire to do something physical in addition to my normal workouts in the Man Cave.

I got more than I bargained for in this class! Each class was an hour of intense cardio – where I ended up sweat-soaked and wobbly-kneed. But it was GREAT.

Here are the 10 things I learned:

1. Moves that look really cool on a 19-year old Indian girl look somewhat less cool on a stiff, 53-year old Caucasian broad.
2. Patting your head while rubbing your tummy is good training for the coordination of arm/foot movement required.
3. Overly enthusiastic hip-shaking risks injury.
4. Choreographers can actually be cruel.
5. Indian folk dance and hip hop DO go well together!
6. Flirty Bollywood Dance moves are much less sexually explicit than what we see in American music videos – but very hot in a suggestive way.
7. Dancing is a great workout for your core muscle groups.
8. Hip waggling is less attractive when your belly is jiggling along with it.
9. When a choreographer says, “This part goes a little fast” – it’s an understatement.
10. Doing something outside your comfort zone is very empowering and satisfying.

What’s that class you’ve always thought of taking? What are you waiting for?

P.S. The picture above is not of our class. (Duh.)

Eating & Thriving, the Low Carb Way

The first time we went to the grocery store to stock up on low-carb food items, we were flummoxed and frustrated. We didn’t understand enough about the do’s and don’t’s – the good foods vs. the “bad”. What freaked us out is that we knew we couldn’t eat the way we had been eating for years.

BASIC THINGS TO KNOW
1. Eat three meals a day, or four or five smaller ones.
2. For the first month consume only a total of only 20 carbs a day. As your body learns to burn fat more easily, you can re-introduce a few more carbs. (Get a carb counter guide for frequent reference.)
3. Read nutritional information labels on any prepared foods! Look for how many grams of carbs are in a serving size. Be sure they are what you would really consume in a sitting, because some serving sizes are ridiculously small.
4. Supplement your fiber intake using Psyllium Husk Powder - a taste-free additive to salads, eggs, or sauces.

THE GOOD NEWS
1. Protein is good. Most proteins have no carbs. Eat steak, chicken, seafood, and eggs guilt-free.
2. Berries are the best fruit to eat. A half cup of raspberries is 3 net carbs.
3. Fiber is good. A gram of fiber negates a gram of carbs. But beware - a gram or two of fiber in a “healthy” snack bar won’t help much if the bar contains 23 carbs that mostly come from sugar.
4. Many veggies are high in nutrients and low in carbs. Go for lettuce, broccoli, asparagus, eggplant, cauliflower and cucumber. (See the bad news veggies.)
5. Get your dairy via cheese (5-6 oz per day).

THE BAD NEWS
1. Avoid bread, pasta, rice, potatoes and cereal. Sorry.
2. Most fruit is fairly high in carbs (e.g. a medium-sized apple has about 17 net carbs).
3. Corn, peas, carrots and beans are starchy veggies higher in carbs.
4. Some “healthy” snacks are loaded with carbs. A quarter cup of raisins has 30 carbs.

Now for some ideas about how to change your eating habits:

Instead of a Cheeseburger, have a bunless Beef patty with cheese
Instead of Potatoes, have Mashed Cauliflower (we use butter & cheese & a touch of cream)
Instead of French Fries, have sauteed Eggplant
Instead of Potato Chips, have "Soy Crispettes”
Instead of salad Croutons, have Parmesan Crisps (add Psyllium Husk Powder for more fiber)
Instead of Crackers & Cheese, have Salami & Cheese
Instead of sugary Desserts, have Sugar-free Candy or Berries
Instead of a Milkshake, have an Atkins shake blended with ice
Instead of Pizza...well, if you find a replacement – let me know!

It’s not always easy, but it works! In restaurants, ask for extra vegetables in place of potatoes or rice. And send the busperson with the bread basket away forthwith! Sometimes it’s just best not to be tempted.

Mastering the Carbohydrate Challenge

I inherited many wonderful attributes from my father. Unfortunately, I also inherited a problem with high blood sugar. Two years ago, I began taking prescription meds to help my body absorb insulin. I had developed Type 2 Diabetes. Some of this was my own doing, as a result of an unhealthy diet, weight gain, and a lack of exercise. One of our goals for the first year of retirement was to “Get Healthy”. I needed to lose weight and wanted to get off my meds. No excuses anymore.

A low-carb approach seemed to make sense for me. Not only would it result in weight loss, but it would deprive my body of the simple carbs (e.g. glucose) that go right into the bloodstream and spike insulin production, making it difficult to control my blood sugar level. Complex carbs (starches) break down into glucose molecules more slowly, so don’t have as quick and dramatic an effect on blood sugar. Carbs are not bad – some are required to fuel the body with energy. But too many carbs (simple or complex) can be problematic, especially for people who tend toward diabetes.

I used a lot of information from the Atkins Diet to modify my eating habits. I replaced sugar with Splenda, stopped eating bread, pasta, potatoes, and rice, and ate more carb-free proteins, salads, and low-carb veggies. I also started being more physically active. Every morning, I tested my blood sugar.

Here’s the amazing thing… After just 3 days of lifestyle changes my blood sugar level dropped dramatically, to the point where I had to discontinue my prescription medication to allow my blood sugar to rise into the normal range! Now it stays there without medication. In 8 months I have lost 25 pounds by reducing my carb consumption and doing cardio exercise 4 to 5 days a week. I am thrilled, and so is my doctor.

A sample of a meal plan for an average day follows. I don’t specify portions here, but they should be reasonable, as calories can’t be completely ignored.

BREAKFAST: Coffee w/Splenda, 2 eggs scrambled with cheese, 2 slices bacon, 2 tablespoons Greek yogurt, 6 fresh raspberries.

LUNCH: Canned tuna fish with mayo, sliced cucumber, 1 small sugar-free Peppermint Patty.

DINNER: Caesar salad, tilapia baked in olive oil & lemon with capers, cauliflower mash, several glasses of wine.

Sorry for my soapbox, but I’m not quite done with this subject. Next week, a few specifics about counting carbs, “healthy” foods with “hidden” carbs, and some tips on how to avoid feeling deprived on the low-carb lifestyle.