A Case FOR Facebook

This morning, a Facebook friend shared an article from the Huffington Post, entitled “11 Reasons You Should Quit Facebook in 2014”. Some of the author’s reasons were based on perceived “annoyances”; others based on privacy concerns stemming from commercial data mining or worry about your “friends” seeing things you don’t want them to see. I’m not a Facebook shareholder, and I know that Facebook isn’t for everyone. Many people have reasonable and valid reasons not to use Facebook. However, I have my own view of the benefits of this outlet for social connectivity…

EMBRACING FAR-FLUNG FRIENDS

Over the years, I lost touch with people I cared about. I have moved 5 times since graduating from college and starting a career. My friends and I were busy, and it seemed to be almost impossible to keep up with people – even with the advent of email. Through Facebook, I have been able to renew meaningful contact with people who are dear to me.

REAL FRIENDS CARE

We have good times and bad. Sharing the good times isn’t necessarily boastful or narcissistic. Sometimes it’s about sharing Happiness and Joy and Hope. It can be inspiring. And I can’t count the times friends have reached out for help or support and received it. Communication in any form can be a lifeline. Give and you get back tenfold. Share and people will share with you. Thank God, it’s Human Nature.

BE TICKLED

Just in the past 24 hours, Facebook has delivered photos of: a friend’s newborn baby, a reunion of college friends performing a New Year’s show, my sister celebrating her birthday week, a friend’s parents meeting their grandchildren for the first time… I could go on and on. If you aren’t interested in what your Facebook friends share online, then you can either “Hide” their postings (they won’t know, so you won’t hurt their feelings), or you should “Unfriend” them.

FOOTPRINTS IN THE SAND

Why do people share so much on Facebook? I don’t think there is a simple answer. I’ve asked myself the same question about why I blog. Without going into a lot of psychological depth… I want my friends to know me. I’m not blessed with children or grandchildren. Maybe I’m looking for other ways to leave my footprints in the sand. I like to write. I like to make people laugh. I like to communicate. So sue me.

NO FEAR

I choose not to dwell on the negative possibilities of Facebook use. I regularly visit my Facebook Account and Privacy Settings, and restrict them as necessary. I don’t play games via Facebook, because they require that I share my friends’ info, which isn’t mine to share. Facebook facilitates extensive data mining. Fortunately, most companies are really inept at it, so I don’t feel particularly threatened by their efforts to capitalize on what they think they know. My ability to ignore their flailing advertising overtures is considerable. If the intrusion ever actually outweighs the benefits I gain from Facebook, I will reconsider my position.

Dear Friends: Keep reaching out, post those photos that keep me in the know and warm my heart, share your personal philosophies, give and get in return.

Happy New Year!

Basic Facebook Safety & Privacy Tips

I admit it; I'm a Facebook fan. It has been a great tool for me to keep in touch with far-flung friends since I joined four years ago. Of course it's not perfect. Facebook annoys with sponsored postings and ads, but hey, this is how they keep the service free. I have a highly developed ability to ignore what doesn't interest me. On the positive side, it has helped me stay close with friends and reconnect with so many dear people, and I am thankful for what Facebook has to offer.

I'm not an expert - but there are a few really important basics users should understand before getting too involved with Facebook and it's allure:

1. LOCK DOWN PRIVACY SETTINGS: Click on the lock icon on the blue task bar at the top of the Facebook screen. "Who can see my stuff?" should be set to "Friends". Unless you are a public figure courting a following, the Public should not be able to see your Facebook postings.
2. SECURE BROWSING: Click on the little wheel icon on the blue task bar at the top of the Facebook screen. Select "Account Settings". Now, in the column on the left, select "Security" and activate secure browsing. You will see that your URL now begins with "https" instead of "http". Activating this feature greatly reduces the possibility that your Facebook account will be hacked.
3. CONTROL WHO CAN CONTACT YOU: Facebook facilitates other Facebook users sending you private messages and/or inviting you to connect as a Friend. Click on the lock icon, and then "Who can contact me?" I have mine set to "Basic filtering", but you can be more restrictive by selecting "Strict filtering". Only my Friends can see my email and telephone number. "Who can send me friend requests?" can be set to "Everyone" or "Friends of Friends". I have mine set to Everyone, which has allowed some long lost friends to find and contact me. You can always ignore a Friend Request and even block an undesirable person if you receive stray, random requests from strangers. It happens; don't freak out.

BE AWARE that Facebook can be an intrusive little bugger. If you are logged into Facebook and have another window open to browse the Internet, Facebook reads your cookies (a trail of where you have been on the Internet), and will display advertising content consistent with your implied interests. This is a little creepy.

BE SELECTIVE about pages you "Like". You are opening the door to more postings and advertisements on your Wall. That's not always bad. You can be kept up to date by neighborhood organizations, your favorite band, politicians, etc. I welcome ads for golf products and travel packages that I see because I "Like" Golf. But too much can be too much. You can always "Unlike" a page if it's postings are useless and annoying.

BE CAREFUL about signing up for other applications from Facebook, including games! If you read the Terms & Conditions for use of these fun and convenient apps, you will see that most of them require you to agree to share not only your Facebook data, but your Friends as well! Sorry, Friends, that's why I don't accept your invitations to play online games through Facebook.

Enjoy Facebook with discretion. If you haven't already, go check your Privacy and Account settings. My friends are welcome to contact me for assistance if needed.

A Virtual Leap

Back in the middle of a brutal Chicago winter, I spent a good amount of time indoors and online for entertainment. Christy, one of my good friends from Memphis urged me to join Facebook to stay better connected with my friends spread far and wide. I was hesitant, but agreed to try it out.

Once I set up a profile for myself and started sending and receiving invitations, it was like being swept into a swift current of a river I hadn’t even known existed! Having moved four times since graduating college and joining the working world, I regretted losing track of some special friends. Suddenly, I was finding them and they were finding me through Facebook. Now I’m connected to 110 friends, which seems like a lot to me!

I’m delighted to have made FB connections with remote family members, some of whom with which we normally only exchanged Christmas cards. My younger sister, Althea, and I use the chat function to catch up with each other. Cousin Johnna posts photos of her girls Claire and Molly, and I plan to see them all (and finally meet their daddy) in Maine in September. I found Lauren Haropulos, a young cousin twice removed, that I did not know. She is a high school student in New York City. (I don’t understand a lot of what she posts, which is in texting lingo – but that’s cool.) Her school was the one in the news about the Swine Flu breakout, and her postings were interesting during that time. (Students at St Francis Prep were calling the school “Swine Prep”.)

I’m grateful to have reconnected with so many dear friends. Kathy, an elementary school friend, sent me an invitation (and sent me digging through boxes to find old class photos) – what a delightful surprise! Emily, a dear friend from Northwestern, is a treasure! Her humor and sweetness bring me a unique joy I had missed since we lost track of each other years ago. I hope to get to Seattle to see her in person. My lifelong friend, Debi and her partner Tim are building a new house in Maryland. She sent a link to a web site where I can see the progress on construction of their dream home. I get to see vacation photos from friends like Fernando & Michelle and Kevin & Jill that I might not otherwise have seen. There are so many more examples of the pleasure social networking has provided to me. It was well worth the virtual leap.

Is there a down side to this trend to online friendship? Not for me. Granted, I have “ignored” some friend requests from a few people who are only acquaintances or business associates, but not friends. (Sorry.) And I have friended a few people who post TMI, so I have hidden their posts. I have only unfriended one person, who shall remain nameless. It’s manageable.

So if you can’t get enough of your friends and family and/or have lost track of some good friends – try Facebook. It’s a perfect example of what’s really good about the internet.

When One Door Closes...

By departing our corporate work life, we allowed a door to close behind us. Instead of assuming that another door would open, what we envisioned was an open field where we could run in any direction, pick daisies, swing at golf balls, or even lie down and take a nap. The feeling of freedom was heady. Still is.

For months, we have gloried in our ability to relax and enjoy ourselves. We are healthier and happier than we have been in a long time, because we are not working and have more time to spend taking care of ourselves and each other.

But in the midst of the relative isolation of a Chicago winter, I began to reach out to friends and former colleagues by networking online. I’m frankly surprised by the joy and satisfaction I’m experiencing as a result of this contact. Connecting with close friends in a different way, finding lost friends and catching up, reconnecting with former colleagues whose careers have taken fascinating paths, and making new acquaintances based on mutual interests – all of these things are now easier as a result of social and professional networking on the internet. Personally, I am tuned in on Facebook and LinkedIn. The more I put into these channels, the more I seem to get back in return.

For example, let me tell you about this week:

On Monday, I had a delightful and stimulating lunch with an admired colleague I worked with 20 years ago at Hilton. She now works for a strategic meeting, incentive and event production agency headquartered in Chicago. We reconnected via LinkedIn just a few weeks ago (because of a mutual connection). She showed me examples of some of the work her company does, and we talked about the possibility of me doing some freelance writing for them on proposals. We have decided to meet for lunch on a monthly basis so we can share stories and ideas. I’m thrilled!

Wednesday, I headed to Evanston to meet a Northwestern student for whom I have been providing some pro bono Marketing consulting. He has an eco-friendly office supply company, and is looking for ways to grow his business. On Monday, he distributed a press release I wrote on his behalf, and is currently hoping for responses that will result in some exposure in the local media (including WGN TV). Our relationship also came from meeting up through a Northwestern group on LinkedIn.

After meeting with my new entrepreneurial friend, I moved on to a Career Day sponsored by Northwestern’s Medill School of Journalism – an opportunity extended to me via email as an NU Alum. I was a bit of an anomaly in the crowd of attendees (because of my…ahem…experience), but I made two great new contacts. One is a producer at WGN TV, who is now interested in the story about our eco-friendly entrepreneur. The other is a “Creative Web Director” for a company who uses freelance writers to develop content for web sites. With my love for writing, this is something I’m interested in exploring. It was a great visit to campus – and I got to see the purple and white crocuses blooming in full force on my walk from the el station to the student center by Lake Michigan.

What a stimulating week I’ve had! Being retired doesn’t mean I’m lying on the couch watching Oprah. To me, it means I have the freedom to explore my passions and to live the next chapter of my life.