"Personal Branding?" Bah!

Flipping channels through daytime programming recently, I happened across a talk show hosted by reality television personality Bethanny (Real Housewives of NYC), whose guest was another reality television personality, Omarosa (The Apprentice). The two of them were arguing, noisily and cattily, about their "personal brands" - whose was stronger and better. It was a disgusting display of ego and rudeness and...desperation. They were both losers in that exchange.

Now imagine any of these memorable people sitting on a talk show sofa promoting their "personal brand": Marilyn Monroe, John Wayne, Elizabeth Taylor. No. Just no. Even with current day personalities, have you heard the phrase "personal brand" coming from the mouths of accomplished people such as Bill Gates, Condoleezza Rice, or Warren Buffett? No.

 
I am not adverse to branding. During my career, I worked to create a brand for Hilton's technology. The project was exciting and turned out to be successful. Our team gathered several prestigious awards and Hilton benefitted from the recognition. Branding is an important part of business. Branding sells products and services, attracts investors, and helps build a loyal following.

Lately, I am hearing more and more nonsensical yammering about personal branding. Too much of it is coming from the people who are trying to create a brand for themselves. Themselves - not a product or a business. Let me give them some advice:

1. You aren't a brand just because you say you are.
2. You need a good reputation, not a brand.
3. Do some soul-searching about your identity, what you stand for, and how you want to be perceived by others.
4. Stop talking about it, consistently walk the walk, and earn it.

The phrase "Personal Brand" should be banished. Are you with me?

It's Always Something - Good

Just when one aspect of my golf game comes together - another disappears. It's the great mystery of golf.

Since starting to play golf regularly about six years ago, my game has improved. My handicap has dropped about 15 points. But it's a case of faltering baby steps forward and, often, a step or two backward. Progress is frustratingly slow. Golf is at the same time a great social pastime and a very personal competition between mind and body. It takes focus, hand-to-eye coordination, discipline, and endurance.

I'm sure this doesn't sound like fun to some people. But it's hard to communicate the best of this game. There are so many moments that make up a four hour round of eighteen holes:

Intense anticipation while lining up your drive on the first tee.

The heady sweetness in the air early on a clear summer morning.

Exhultation when you hit a shot exactly as planned.

The satisfying sound of impact on your club's sweet spot.

Warm and honest moments with your golf friends.

Eternal hope for that hole-in-one.

Delight at sharing the course with wildlife.

Expansive views of landscapes.

The scent of turf damp with moisture.

The belief that "this will be the day" for...whatever.

So we gladly tolerate body soreness, uncooperative clubs, blow-up holes, bad bounces, water hazards, the occasional snake, cactus thorns in our socks, wind, bunkers, and capricious miscellaneous blows from the Golf Gods. We're on the golf course with friends, and it's all good.

P.S. I have a lesson today at 11:30, because I can't hit an iron right now to save my life. Tee time for 1:00 with the girls.

Retirement Brain

I forgot this was Thursday - Runaway Boomer blog day - until 5 minutes ago.

This is one of the risks/blessings of retirement. We don't always know what day it is without a calendar. I have two calendars, yet I still have occasional issues. My phone is my primary resource. Secondarily, we have a lovely Arizona Highways desk calendar that we keep either on the coffee table or the kitchen island.

Yet here it is, Thursday, and I forgot to write my blog this morning.

Days of the week are difficult enough, but the date is another thing entirely. I rarely write checks anymore, so don't have that reminder. Thank goodness for my cell phone, without which I would be lost. (Literally lost sometimes, as I use it as a GPS too.)

There are schedule touchstones, weekly events that usually keep us tuned in:

SUN: Couples Golf & $2 tacos at the club
MON: Golf with Ron
TUE: Sweet Adelines rehearsal night, and a new episode of "Justified" to watch when I get home
WED: Errands in town
THU: Afternoon golf with the girls
FRI: Happy Hour at Talking Rock's club
SAT: Ron's weekly hike, and when I put fresh sheets on the bed

The great thing is that we mostly don't care what day it is. We don't have to get up early. We don't have to go to work. After so many years of doing what we had to do, we now do what we want - pretty much when we want to. Woo hoo! Retirement brain isn't so bad.

Ties that Bind

As we live our lives, we unconsciously weave a beautiful web of experiences and memories. Other people and creatures pass through; some with no lasting effect - but a few carry wisps of our web into their own. Our life creations become forever entwined. These are the ties that bind us to friends that will always be special.

My web contains
...the little friend who lived across the street and played in my parents' home
...the high school buddies who bonded at the neighborhood bus stop, in the school library, a class, a rehearsal hall, or a sports field
...the first love who will always have a place in my heart
...the college compatriot I met while becoming the adult I am today
...the work colleague who helped me get my footing early in my career, and the one who teamed with me to accomplish daunting tasks
...the wise and wonderful person who was kind and supportive during a serious illness
...the cherished people who will always be family, regardless of events

My husband and family share the heart of my web. They, and others, have influenced the design of my life. They are part of who I am.

Let's Make-Up

I read an article the other day by a blogger who wrote about wearing make-up, specifically, knowing she looks better with it on, and not believing people who tell her otherwise. Here's the article if you are interested: Please, Don't Tell Me that I Look Better Without Make-up. Although I think the author has lingering issues with a manipulative man, she did make some interesting points on a subject many women consider on an ongoing basis.

I don't wear make-up every day, but I did when I was working. Once or twice, if I was called into work overnight or on a weekend for a crisis, I skipped this routine. People asked me if I was OK or whether I was ill. That told me something right there. Most people look better with a little artful enhancement of their face and features. The appropriate style and amount of makeup can (and should) vary greatly by age, time of day, and event.

When I was in junior high school, I asked Mom whether I could start wearing makeup. NO. I regrouped and asked again, several days or weeks later, if I could wear it if you couldn't tell I was wearing any. Mom clearly didn't think that was possible, so said YES. Then I pointed out that I was at that moment wearing very subtle pink lipstick, the thinnest possible stripe of eyeliner, and a wisp of mascara. She had registered none of this until I pointed it out to her. At that age, I had smooth, clear skin, and a natural blush to my cheeks. Nothing exotic was required to make me happy. The little that I did made me feel more confident and helped me fit in with my peers. Those things are pretty important at the age of thirteen. My routine didn't change much through college, although I added some extra drama to my makeup when I had a date or went to a special event.

By the time I had a career, my wardrobe changed, and make-up felt like part of my professional outfit - my armour, as well as an important part of daily grooming. I had more disposable income, so bought better products, graduating from drug store cosmetics to Clinique and eventually Estee Lauder.

As I continue to age, I feel that make-up helps me to look my best. My hair, eyebrows, and eyelashes are becoming lighter, and my complexion is more uneven. If I take no steps to enhance my features, sometimes I feel like I am completely fading away! There are days, especially on the golf course, that I don't wear cosmetics, other than sunscreen and lip gloss. Fortunately, all of my friends have seen me this way so I'm not embarrassed. But when I go out to lunch with my husband, or to the Club for Happy Hour, I'll fuss with my hair and face to look my best. It makes me feel better (and younger), and in a way it's a form of respect to my friends. It's also fun.

Left - WITHOUT MAKE-UP      Right - WITH MAKE-UP

Wear make-up / don't wear make-up. It's a tool; a toy; an embellishment. There's no right or wrong. It's about how you feel and what best represents what's inside.

Sisters of the Heart

I am fortunate to have two sisters and one brother of the blood. In addition, I am blessed to have a good handful of "sisters of the heart". We know, love, and understand each other. We share fun, laughter, and tears. I could not do without their friendship and support. I am in awe of their talents, strengths, and resiliency.

These sisters of the heart are at an age where they have known unhappiness and pain, yet they rise from each blow stricken and continue to seek the joy in life. Each new day is welcomed with hope and faith. Every friend is greeted with affection and a smile. If help is needed, it is requested or provided, without self-conciousness. There is awesome strength in our combined love and experience.

We are beautiful to each other, and glow from the confidence that brings. Hearts are safely worn on sleeves. We are here for each other.

Many changes must be borne in our lives. Some things change - others begin. With the right support, we make the difficult and necessary transitions while seeking new happiness. Having sisters helps.

My sisters of the heart - you know who you are. I have your backs.  

This Dawn

Among the many blessings
     in my life
I am still an active
     Daughter, Sister, Wife

Well into middle age
     with no children to my name
These family ties that we still have
     lift us and sustain

For now, my home is full
     with Husband, Sister, Mom
Moments now - memories later
     prayers of thanks this dawn