Dye Your Hair Blue (or whatever)

I now have a neon blue streak in my hair. Why? Because ever since I retired six years ago, I've wanted to do something a little crazy that I never would have done while I was working in a corporate environment. And why not blue hair? Why the hell not? People will think it's weird? Don't care. I might not like it? It's semi-permanent and will wash out over the coming weeks. It's not a color that occurs in nature? See the flowers behind me in the photo - they're almost a perfect match. I'm too old for such silliness? Hogwash.

How long SHOULD we wait to indulge ourselves and take action on the stuff of our daydreams and urges? I don't want to wait until it's too late. Having a life-threatening illness 12 years ago was a rude kick in the pants - a reminder that our futures are not ensured. Every day, everywhere, tragedy strikes when we least expect it. As far as we know, we only have one life to enjoy, and we should do it up right. Big, Bold, Active, and Out There. That's what I think.

How does this translate beyond my seemingly insignificant hair color? That depends on you, and your deepest desires, regrets, hankerings, and niggling unrequited daydreams. Those shouldn't always end up at the bottom of your priorities, to be done sometime in the future "when I have time", "when I am more fit", or "after". Beware of those words. Sometimes you have to pursue joy.

Other enriching things I have enjoyed since my attitude adjustment:

Bollywood Dance Class

Trip to Italy & Greece

Four years living in the heart of Chicago

Tour of southern England

Singing with Prescott's Sweet Adelines

Becoming a Golfer

None of these were earth-shattering or weird, but I certainly could have come up with good reasons not to do any one of them. (Fear, Expense, Laziness, Embarrassment, etc.) I don't know what's next for me, but I'm thinking...

Listen to that little voice in your head. It usually knows what it's talking about.

Ties that Bind

As we live our lives, we unconsciously weave a beautiful web of experiences and memories. Other people and creatures pass through; some with no lasting effect - but a few carry wisps of our web into their own. Our life creations become forever entwined. These are the ties that bind us to friends that will always be special.

My web contains
...the little friend who lived across the street and played in my parents' home
...the high school buddies who bonded at the neighborhood bus stop, in the school library, a class, a rehearsal hall, or a sports field
...the first love who will always have a place in my heart
...the college compatriot I met while becoming the adult I am today
...the work colleague who helped me get my footing early in my career, and the one who teamed with me to accomplish daunting tasks
...the wise and wonderful person who was kind and supportive during a serious illness
...the cherished people who will always be family, regardless of events

My husband and family share the heart of my web. They, and others, have influenced the design of my life. They are part of who I am.

I Could Be Better

These days, I have plenty of time to think. Sounds like an odd statement, but there was a period during my professional life that true thinking time was a luxury. You acted, reacted, managed crises, used your lizard brain wits, and ran as fast as you could. Didn't leave any time for introspection and leisurely pondering.

Now I think about many things. How life will play out as I age, who my real friends are and why, the best ways to build a comfortable nest, how to balance fun with more specific constructive pursuits, and how to be better.

We all have weaknesses and ways in which we disappoint ourselves. Perhaps we find what we think are valid reasons to stop developing emotionally. I want to try to be a better me. It's not easy.

I write to explore my feelings and find clarity in our little corner of existence. My success on that score is inconsistent. Optimistic, I'm going to keep trying.

Like me / don't like me. Know me / don't know me. Those that matter to me will make their own decisions, and I am very comfortable with that. I'm just me, but I'm only getting better.

We Get What We Need

When things don't turn out the way we've planned, it can really throw us self-absorbed, imperfect human beings for a loop. No matter what we do, sometimes, as the Rolling Stones have been singing for 45 years, "You Can't Always Get What You Want". With red, tear-filled eyes we rail against those who block our way. Harsh, judgmental words stain our mouths. Imagining retribution soothes our beastly souls, making us feel less impotent.

As the angry fog clears, eventually we are able to see things a little differently. It's better to let the venom dissipate. Things usually work out as they should. It's hard to see, but the truth is there somewhere.

Poisonous people may harm others, but they usually are destructive to no one more than themselves. Left to their own devices, they attract misery. It's best not to engage, but to retreat. You can watch from afar, although you may very well lose interest. That's probably healthiest.

So we count our blessings and look forward to when it will become clear that the ways things are unfolding is actually better for us than what we had planned. I have faith.

"You can't always get what you want

But if you try sometimes, well you might find

You get what you need"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XG5GOH2CO1k

Make a Mess - Reap the Benefits

"You know that point in time in the middle of organizing/cleaning during which you have created a bigger mess than you had when you started? I'm there."

That was my Facebook post yesterday. I hate being "there". But it's a place you have to go when you are switching our winter clothes for summer, and cleaning your closet. Invariably, you find things that have been hiding, are stored in the wrong place, or just waiting patiently to be hauled off to Goodwill. This is tedious, time-consuming work - but the results are worth the effort. It would be embarrassing to tell you how many times I've gone into my closet to see how great it looks now. I'm pretty proud of myself.

Yesterday I chatted with a dear friend who shared his disappointment over an inconsiderate action by his spouse. He's fuming and hurt, but hasn't yet told his other half that he's angry. I understand that. You don't want to make too much of something that might blow over. You don't want to be a nag, and stir things up and cause a fuss. But you have to say something. Sometimes you must make a mess to make it better. Letting things fester only makes them worse. My advice to my friend was to get his frustration out in the open and clear it up.

Procrastination is in my genes. To be fair, it's my Haropulos genes. If I can put off something unpleasant, I'll put it off until the last possible second. This has made me a Master of Crisis Management. It's not that I'm proud of it - it's just the way I am. But as I get older...I have less tolerance for the unsettled feeling fomented by unresolved messes. Everything should have its place. Harmony shall reign. It makes me happy and allows me to sleep well at night.

Stir things up and tackle a little mess today. Then take a nap. You'll feel great.