The Pleasure of Your Company

One of the most rewarding things about retirement is that I have more time to interact with my friends in a meaningful way. One of the biggest and most welcome surprises is that I am still making friends. All told, the warmth of my friendships bathes me in happiness and comfort.

This week, I have been fortunate enough to enjoy the company of several good friends and long distance encounters with others:

• I spent almost an hour on the phone Sunday with one of my very closest friends and confidantes. We live in different cities now, I miss him, and I treasure our weekly phone calls.
• One of our neighbors has become a close friend. Sunday evening, we chatted with him for about an hour after our condo association meeting, and promised to keep an eye on his place and collect his mail while he is out of town this week. It’s good to have a trusted friend so nearby. (Ron calls him my texting buddy, since that’s often how we keep tabs on each other.)
• Earlier this week, a friend from college sent me an out-of-the-blue message telling me what it means to her that we have reconnected online. It was a heartwarming surprise that made my day.
• Last night we went to dinner and the theatre with friends in Chicago. Over dinner, we caught up on each other’s doings, and then shared a wonderful experience enjoying the play together. We’re already talking about planning a get together during the holidays.
• My new friends in Arizona are a true blessing. I look forward to the day we are full-time residents at Talking Rock Ranch, so we can enjoy that sense of community full-time.

Even surprise acquaintances can offer bright spots to your day. Ron and I golfed with a man two days in a row this week that we met at the starting tee. We discovered that we not only have a friend in common, but also several mutual interests – the symphony, theatre, and golf. Our golf experience was greatly enhanced this week by our conversations with Bob.

Keep expanding your circle of friends. It adds a richness to life at any stage, but may be particularly important to your health and happiness during retirement.

I just downloaded a book to my Kindle - Vital Friends by Tom Rath.  It features results from Gallup studies on friendship, explores how friendships contribute to health and happiness, and even explains how having strong friendships can improve engagement and productivity at work.  I hope it’s an interesting read.

Deciding Where to Settle Down for Retirement

A treasured friend of mine recently sent me an email looking for my opinions about his list of possible retirement locales. He is a successful surgeon who is having trouble imagining his life after retirement. The request he sent, punctuated by, “C’mon Runaway Boomer, don’t let me down!” not only made me laugh, but got me thinking about how to approach the big decision about where to retire in a systematic fashion.

It’s very important to try to visualize how you want life to unfold once you are free from a career that absorbs most of your time and energy. What are the things you would do more of, if you only had time? Many look forward to having the freedom to spend more time socializing with friends and family. Others dream of travel and exploration. For some, it will be a time for more physical action and creativity. You may have thoughts about pursuing a second career, or volunteering in your community. This visualization step requires some pleasant introspection over a period of time.

Picking a geographic location can be complicated. First, consider that you may not need or want to move at all! If you already have a great social situation and the support of friends and family nearby, do you really want to start over in a new place? Or does your soul yearn for the beauty of the mountains or beach and a new beginning? Here are some practical suggestions for going about narrowing down your list of possible locations:

• Start taking short vacations (even 3-4 days) to check out places that you think you might be interested in. Make an appointment with a realtor to take you around, so you can get a feel for housing and neighborhoods available.
• Pick up magazines like "Where to Retire" or “Money”. They do nice profiles of towns and highlight different aspects for consideration, like cost of living, healthcare, taxes, etc.
• You can think about your post-working life in phases. If you decide to buy somewhere, it doesn't have to be forever – it may merely be your next chapter.
• See if you can narrow your options a bit... Mountains, desert, coastal, urban? All have their own beauty, but are all very different.
• Make a list of what you definitely want in a home... Single family or condo, # of bedrooms/baths, view, fireplace, garage, porch or patio, single level or 2-story, etc. This will help you when you work with a realtor, and also help you visualize how you want to live.
• Browse home sales websites for different locales so you can get an idea of what is available and see what places look like.
• Go visit friends in different areas so they can introduce you to what it's like to really live somewhere.
• Look at official websites of cities and town. Email requests for visitor and/or relocation guides. Most places offer them for free.

One more important thought… Be open to surprises changing your plan. My husband and I visited Prescott, Arizona a year and a half ago because it kept popping up on lists of good places to retire. It was love at first sight, and we bought a home in Talking Rock Ranch (SURPRISE: two years earlier than planned), on a golf course (SURPRISE: we had never discussed this before), and making scores of lovely friends (SURPRISE: an amazing bonus to buying into a community). We are having the time of our lives.

Enjoy your decision-making process. It’s a luxury to have the freedom to create your own grand plan.

Embraced by the Family Home

Yesterday Ron and I arrived for a visit at Mom’s home in Manchester, NH. This is a very special place. To the casual observer, it’s just a modest mid-century ranch-style house. To us, “1070” is a family treasure.

The house was built in 1952 by Mom’s parents, Barbara and Frank Roberts. Along with help from my Uncle Jerry and Barbara’s carpenter father Carroll Powers, they turned their long-time dream of owning a home into reality. Board by board and shingle by shingle, they created a home full of love and happiness. Over time, it became a magnet for friends and family – both unscheduled drop-ins and planned vacations.

When we were kids, many of our vacations were spent as guests at 1070. The four of us slept on cots in the basement. It was a little creepy, so we compensated by telling stories and giggling ourselves to sleep. In the morning, Grammie would make biscuits from scratch. Grampa would play the organ full blast, we would collect acorns from the yard, Grammie would weave charming stories about fairies in her garden, and assorted extended family would pop in for visits. It was always wonderful. There are many, many memories ingrained into the walls of this home. The spirits of Frank and Barbara are here.

Today, Mom and my sister Althea share the home. Our parents expanded it in the early 90’s, converting part of the basement into a family room with a fireplace, adding a master suite, and renovating the kitchen. But the bones of the original house are intact…the exterior that blends into the wooded lot, the wide, golden pine paneling in the living room and all the way down the hall, and the beautiful windows that welcome in the sunlight and cool breezes.

I’ll always feel at home here.

1070 Living Room.
(photo by Althea Haropulos)

Day at Wrigley

Nothing like a day at Wrigley

Last gasp of summer

Sun-soaked diamond

Winds blowing out

Taunting big bats

Loved our day at Wrigley

El rumbling past Addison

Home run, Byrd!

We sing in the seventh

Take me out

Cheered this day at Wrigley

Garza was the man

Sweet late season win

Spilled beer forgiven

Go Cubs Go

Farewell to Prescott (for now)

What a great summer it has been in Prescott!  We have a few more treats planned for today (a Ladies golf event) and tomorrow (Happy Hour and dinner at the club), before heading for Chicago Saturday morning.  My heart is full and my mind’s eye is reviewing all the fun we’ve had with friends.  I think the best way to share that is via some photos from the past few months.

One of the many beautiful mornings from our back patio.



"Tee Party" on the golf course.

Ron and friends at the Labor Day weekend Luau.



Celebrating the Spirit Cup with my partner Elin.

Fall Festival Prescott Pops concert at Talking Rock.
(Photo courtesy of Janet Cameron.)



One of our friendly hummingbirds.

 

Already looking forward to being back in November.

Good Friends, Good Food, Good Times

Last night we had friends over to dinner. We enjoyed the preparation, the company, and the food. Ron and I planned and executed the menu together. It’s fun to have time to make this kind of meal on a week night!

Here’s the menu for the evening at Chez Bailey:

Amuse-Bouche

Proscuitto Pillow

Proscuitto stuffed with herbed goat cheese, radish, & red pepper jelly. Served with a dash of basil oil.

Salad

Caprese Salad

Fresh tomatoes, mozzarella, & basil leaves. Drizzled with extra virgin olive oil & fig-infused balsamic vinegar.

Entrée

Fried Trout

Panko-encrusted trout filet with lemon & capers, served with a side of lightly sautéed zucchini.

Dessert

Berries Jubilee!

Raspberries & blackberries flambéed in Grand Marnier, tumbled onto sponge cake, accompanied by mango sorbet.

The Spirit of the Spirit Cup

Last week I played in Talking Rock Golf Club’s annual ladies’ invitational golf tournament, the Spirit Cup. My handicap is high, my partner was a stranger to me, and I was pretty bound up with trepidation about the whole event. But I had set myself a goal to compete this year, and I am pretty stubborn about meeting my self-imposed goals.

The biggest hurdle in my mind was whether my partner and I would be compatible. After playing a practice round with her last Thursday, my concern was quickly dispatched. Although a much better golfer than I, we got along famously, enjoying the course, the beautiful weather, and each other’s company. She has had quite a bit of tournament experience, and I appreciated her knowledge about the formats (Best Ball and a Scramble), and the finer points of the rules and regulations.

On the first morning of the tournament, a party atmosphere reigned. The theme for the Spirit Cup was “Wild, Wild West”. Carts were decorated accordingly, and the creativity was impressive. We had several stagecoaches, a saloon, a jail, and a chuck wagon, among others. Some ladies had coordinating golf attire, or even costumes such as pigtails and Indian feathers, ponchos and six shooters, and saloon girls with feather boas.

Both days of golf included 18 holes of play, with 9 holes of a Scramble, and 9 holes of Best Ball. These formats take a lot of pressure off us lesser golfers, as your partner can save you if you have a bad shot or a bad hole. Of course, you still want to feel that you have contributed, which I did – hitting some good drives, some great pitches onto the green, and a few really good putts to close out scoring on holes. My intimate knowledge of the geography of the course was also a big help to my guest, who was unfamiliar with it.

We played respectably, and could hold our heads high as the top teams went on to the high-pressure Shoot Out for the championship. The Shoot Out drew a gallery of club members and guests that moved progressively from the 14th hole to the 18th, where the champions were determined by a Chip Off after a tie between the finalists on 18. Congratulations to Kim Dornan and her guest for their big win!

The trophy presentations were accompanied by food, drink, laughter, and hugs, among a large group of happy people. As the sun set, washing Talking Rock with golden sun, we relished our celebration.

I am most pleased that I pushed myself outside my comfort zone to take on a new challenge and have a wonderful new experience. My hope is that more of my golf buddies will take part next year in this event that is a great confidence-builder.