Dye Your Hair Blue (or whatever)

I now have a neon blue streak in my hair. Why? Because ever since I retired six years ago, I've wanted to do something a little crazy that I never would have done while I was working in a corporate environment. And why not blue hair? Why the hell not? People will think it's weird? Don't care. I might not like it? It's semi-permanent and will wash out over the coming weeks. It's not a color that occurs in nature? See the flowers behind me in the photo - they're almost a perfect match. I'm too old for such silliness? Hogwash.

How long SHOULD we wait to indulge ourselves and take action on the stuff of our daydreams and urges? I don't want to wait until it's too late. Having a life-threatening illness 12 years ago was a rude kick in the pants - a reminder that our futures are not ensured. Every day, everywhere, tragedy strikes when we least expect it. As far as we know, we only have one life to enjoy, and we should do it up right. Big, Bold, Active, and Out There. That's what I think.

How does this translate beyond my seemingly insignificant hair color? That depends on you, and your deepest desires, regrets, hankerings, and niggling unrequited daydreams. Those shouldn't always end up at the bottom of your priorities, to be done sometime in the future "when I have time", "when I am more fit", or "after". Beware of those words. Sometimes you have to pursue joy.

Other enriching things I have enjoyed since my attitude adjustment:

Bollywood Dance Class

Trip to Italy & Greece

Four years living in the heart of Chicago

Tour of southern England

Singing with Prescott's Sweet Adelines

Becoming a Golfer

None of these were earth-shattering or weird, but I certainly could have come up with good reasons not to do any one of them. (Fear, Expense, Laziness, Embarrassment, etc.) I don't know what's next for me, but I'm thinking...

Listen to that little voice in your head. It usually knows what it's talking about.

Remembering Norman "Jerry" Roberts

Last night, we lost our beloved Jerry Roberts - Mom's only sibling and my only uncle, and a long-time resident of Montpelier, Vermont. He is at peace now after a long battle with a rare illness. Fortunately, his devoted wife and family were there for him all the way. Mom visited just last week. Jerry leaves behind his wife, Elaine, sons Kenneth and Scott, three grandchildren, one great-grandchild, and his sister Dolores Haropulos.

Uncle Jerry in 1971. This is the way I'll remember him.

Jerry and I shared the special bond of the same birthday, October 27. I will remember him for his good, patient nature, his sense of humor, and his hearty laugh. He was the rock of his family, and I am painfully sorry for the void his passing leaves in the lives of his immediate family.

Born in 1934, Jerry and big sister Dolores shared the experience of the lean years of the Depression. They enjoyed a modest but cultured life in Manchester, NH, as well as time with their maternal grandparents and childhood friends in rural Vermont. Along with his parents and carpenter grandfather, he helped build the home my mother now lives in on Belmont Street in Manchester. During the Korean War, Jerry served with the Coast Guard. His career was spent in the insurance business, where he had extensive experience in claim investigations. Most recently, he enjoyed his retired life with his wife. The children and their families were close.

Ron and I will be leaving for the funeral in Vermont. It will be good to see my cousins and to pay our last respects to a wonderful uncle.

Over But Not Out

Today is the 5^th anniversary of my Runaway Boomer weekly blog. With this, I’ve published 262 posts on a rambling array of subjects. This has been a wonderful way to express myself; allowing me to explore what’s in my head and share thoughts and feelings with friends. Feedback has been rewarding and heartwarming.

My weekly self-imposed deadline was established to contribute some structure and discipline to my personal schedule after retirement. Given that our post-career life has evolved into a full, busy mixture of routine and spontaneous fun, I no longer feel the need for this weekly ritual – in fact, I am beginning to feel a bit stifled by it. My creative juices flow on their own schedule…not necessarily over morning coffee on Thursdays.

Runaway Boomer will continue – but postings will be less frequent and predictable. You will hear from me when something is on my mind that causes bubble and flow. I will write when, if I didn’t, my head might explode.

I hope you have enjoyed my blog over the past 5 years. Most certainly, I have! I’m not sure what’s next… I’ve always wanted to write a book, but I’m not convinced that I have the required attention span. Maybe Twitter is more my style. I’m open to where circumstances take me.

Peace

Close Encounters

I had a handful of opportunities to meet celebrities while working in the hotel business. For several years, the Hilton in Skokie, Illinois hosted entertainers performing at the nearby Mill Run Theatre. After that time, the occasional business trip to Hilton's headquarters in Beverly Hills put me in places where I would have sightings of famous people. Here are a few stories about my favorite close encounters (with photos of how they looked at the time).

In the late 70's Burt Bacharach was leading orchestras that played concerts of his remarkable popular hits. Rehearsals took place in our rooftop lounge. Burt gave me tickets to the show, and invited me backstage. He also asked me to play tennis and to go out for a burger, but I was working and couldn't take him up on his flirtations. At one point when we were chatting, I asked how he felt when he heard one of his songs as "elevator music". His response? "That's not my music."

The Osmonds booked an entire floor in our hotel. They were all polite, charming, funny, and fun to be around. We had hoards of Donny and Marie fans hanging out in the lobby at all hours. Between rehearsals, the guys got bored. My front office staff met them out on the lawn behind the hotel to play touch football. Somewhere I have a photo from the game that appeared in a local newspaper.

I checked Chita Rivera into the hotel and told her I had been a fan since seeing her in the original run of "Chicago" on Broadway. Later, I walked through the hotel coffee shop. She was at a table alone (incognito in a scarf and a lack of makeup) and asked me to join her, because she didn't like to eat alone. What a lovely lady.

Lou Rawls had an amazing voice - whether speaking or singing. When he stayed in our hotel, I would gather his messages and scurry to meet him in the lobby to deliver them. He would say, "Well, thank you, dear" in that VOICE. I was so sad when I heard of his passing in 2006. A kind and talented man.

Remember when Mac Davis had his own TV variety show in the 70's? While he and his band stayed at the Hilton, they were friendly and charming. His guys challenged us to a softball game, while Mac was off doing an interview. Our hotel team won, and on Mac's returned he demanded a rematch. His team won the second game. Mac gave me front row tickets to his show and winked at me during one of his songs. Lifelong fan.

For several years, the Chicago Bears stayed at our Hilton on nights before home football games. I met many great football players, but Walter Payton has always been my favorite. He was polite and soft-spoken. The team had a curfew, after which we could not accept phone calls to the players. Walter asked me to put through calls from his girlfriend, regardless of the time. I had to say no. I felt terrible about it. Rest in peace, Sweetness. Your signed photo has a place of honor in our office.

Oh my, Harrison Ford! To make a long story short, I met Harrison Ford on his front porch in Beverly Hills. (A friend knew the address.) I have shame, but I did get to look into those blue eyes from just a few feet away. Although a bit disconcerted about my appearance, "How did you get here?", he was gracious about chatting with me for a minute, and provided an autograph. My partner in crime, my sister Althea, drove the getaway car.

"Personal Branding?" Bah!

Flipping channels through daytime programming recently, I happened across a talk show hosted by reality television personality Bethanny (Real Housewives of NYC), whose guest was another reality television personality, Omarosa (The Apprentice). The two of them were arguing, noisily and cattily, about their "personal brands" - whose was stronger and better. It was a disgusting display of ego and rudeness and...desperation. They were both losers in that exchange.

Now imagine any of these memorable people sitting on a talk show sofa promoting their "personal brand": Marilyn Monroe, John Wayne, Elizabeth Taylor. No. Just no. Even with current day personalities, have you heard the phrase "personal brand" coming from the mouths of accomplished people such as Bill Gates, Condoleezza Rice, or Warren Buffett? No.

 
I am not adverse to branding. During my career, I worked to create a brand for Hilton's technology. The project was exciting and turned out to be successful. Our team gathered several prestigious awards and Hilton benefitted from the recognition. Branding is an important part of business. Branding sells products and services, attracts investors, and helps build a loyal following.

Lately, I am hearing more and more nonsensical yammering about personal branding. Too much of it is coming from the people who are trying to create a brand for themselves. Themselves - not a product or a business. Let me give them some advice:

1. You aren't a brand just because you say you are.
2. You need a good reputation, not a brand.
3. Do some soul-searching about your identity, what you stand for, and how you want to be perceived by others.
4. Stop talking about it, consistently walk the walk, and earn it.

The phrase "Personal Brand" should be banished. Are you with me?

It's Always Something - Good

Just when one aspect of my golf game comes together - another disappears. It's the great mystery of golf.

Since starting to play golf regularly about six years ago, my game has improved. My handicap has dropped about 15 points. But it's a case of faltering baby steps forward and, often, a step or two backward. Progress is frustratingly slow. Golf is at the same time a great social pastime and a very personal competition between mind and body. It takes focus, hand-to-eye coordination, discipline, and endurance.

I'm sure this doesn't sound like fun to some people. But it's hard to communicate the best of this game. There are so many moments that make up a four hour round of eighteen holes:

Intense anticipation while lining up your drive on the first tee.

The heady sweetness in the air early on a clear summer morning.

Exhultation when you hit a shot exactly as planned.

The satisfying sound of impact on your club's sweet spot.

Warm and honest moments with your golf friends.

Eternal hope for that hole-in-one.

Delight at sharing the course with wildlife.

Expansive views of landscapes.

The scent of turf damp with moisture.

The belief that "this will be the day" for...whatever.

So we gladly tolerate body soreness, uncooperative clubs, blow-up holes, bad bounces, water hazards, the occasional snake, cactus thorns in our socks, wind, bunkers, and capricious miscellaneous blows from the Golf Gods. We're on the golf course with friends, and it's all good.

P.S. I have a lesson today at 11:30, because I can't hit an iron right now to save my life. Tee time for 1:00 with the girls.

Retirement Brain

I forgot this was Thursday - Runaway Boomer blog day - until 5 minutes ago.

This is one of the risks/blessings of retirement. We don't always know what day it is without a calendar. I have two calendars, yet I still have occasional issues. My phone is my primary resource. Secondarily, we have a lovely Arizona Highways desk calendar that we keep either on the coffee table or the kitchen island.

Yet here it is, Thursday, and I forgot to write my blog this morning.

Days of the week are difficult enough, but the date is another thing entirely. I rarely write checks anymore, so don't have that reminder. Thank goodness for my cell phone, without which I would be lost. (Literally lost sometimes, as I use it as a GPS too.)

There are schedule touchstones, weekly events that usually keep us tuned in:

SUN: Couples Golf & $2 tacos at the club
MON: Golf with Ron
TUE: Sweet Adelines rehearsal night, and a new episode of "Justified" to watch when I get home
WED: Errands in town
THU: Afternoon golf with the girls
FRI: Happy Hour at Talking Rock's club
SAT: Ron's weekly hike, and when I put fresh sheets on the bed

The great thing is that we mostly don't care what day it is. We don't have to get up early. We don't have to go to work. After so many years of doing what we had to do, we now do what we want - pretty much when we want to. Woo hoo! Retirement brain isn't so bad.

Ties that Bind

As we live our lives, we unconsciously weave a beautiful web of experiences and memories. Other people and creatures pass through; some with no lasting effect - but a few carry wisps of our web into their own. Our life creations become forever entwined. These are the ties that bind us to friends that will always be special.

My web contains
...the little friend who lived across the street and played in my parents' home
...the high school buddies who bonded at the neighborhood bus stop, in the school library, a class, a rehearsal hall, or a sports field
...the first love who will always have a place in my heart
...the college compatriot I met while becoming the adult I am today
...the work colleague who helped me get my footing early in my career, and the one who teamed with me to accomplish daunting tasks
...the wise and wonderful person who was kind and supportive during a serious illness
...the cherished people who will always be family, regardless of events

My husband and family share the heart of my web. They, and others, have influenced the design of my life. They are part of who I am.

Let's Make-Up

I read an article the other day by a blogger who wrote about wearing make-up, specifically, knowing she looks better with it on, and not believing people who tell her otherwise. Here's the article if you are interested: Please, Don't Tell Me that I Look Better Without Make-up. Although I think the author has lingering issues with a manipulative man, she did make some interesting points on a subject many women consider on an ongoing basis.

I don't wear make-up every day, but I did when I was working. Once or twice, if I was called into work overnight or on a weekend for a crisis, I skipped this routine. People asked me if I was OK or whether I was ill. That told me something right there. Most people look better with a little artful enhancement of their face and features. The appropriate style and amount of makeup can (and should) vary greatly by age, time of day, and event.

When I was in junior high school, I asked Mom whether I could start wearing makeup. NO. I regrouped and asked again, several days or weeks later, if I could wear it if you couldn't tell I was wearing any. Mom clearly didn't think that was possible, so said YES. Then I pointed out that I was at that moment wearing very subtle pink lipstick, the thinnest possible stripe of eyeliner, and a wisp of mascara. She had registered none of this until I pointed it out to her. At that age, I had smooth, clear skin, and a natural blush to my cheeks. Nothing exotic was required to make me happy. The little that I did made me feel more confident and helped me fit in with my peers. Those things are pretty important at the age of thirteen. My routine didn't change much through college, although I added some extra drama to my makeup when I had a date or went to a special event.

By the time I had a career, my wardrobe changed, and make-up felt like part of my professional outfit - my armour, as well as an important part of daily grooming. I had more disposable income, so bought better products, graduating from drug store cosmetics to Clinique and eventually Estee Lauder.

As I continue to age, I feel that make-up helps me to look my best. My hair, eyebrows, and eyelashes are becoming lighter, and my complexion is more uneven. If I take no steps to enhance my features, sometimes I feel like I am completely fading away! There are days, especially on the golf course, that I don't wear cosmetics, other than sunscreen and lip gloss. Fortunately, all of my friends have seen me this way so I'm not embarrassed. But when I go out to lunch with my husband, or to the Club for Happy Hour, I'll fuss with my hair and face to look my best. It makes me feel better (and younger), and in a way it's a form of respect to my friends. It's also fun.

Left - WITHOUT MAKE-UP      Right - WITH MAKE-UP

Wear make-up / don't wear make-up. It's a tool; a toy; an embellishment. There's no right or wrong. It's about how you feel and what best represents what's inside.

Sisters of the Heart

I am fortunate to have two sisters and one brother of the blood. In addition, I am blessed to have a good handful of "sisters of the heart". We know, love, and understand each other. We share fun, laughter, and tears. I could not do without their friendship and support. I am in awe of their talents, strengths, and resiliency.

These sisters of the heart are at an age where they have known unhappiness and pain, yet they rise from each blow stricken and continue to seek the joy in life. Each new day is welcomed with hope and faith. Every friend is greeted with affection and a smile. If help is needed, it is requested or provided, without self-conciousness. There is awesome strength in our combined love and experience.

We are beautiful to each other, and glow from the confidence that brings. Hearts are safely worn on sleeves. We are here for each other.

Many changes must be borne in our lives. Some things change - others begin. With the right support, we make the difficult and necessary transitions while seeking new happiness. Having sisters helps.

My sisters of the heart - you know who you are. I have your backs.  

This Dawn

Among the many blessings
     in my life
I am still an active
     Daughter, Sister, Wife

Well into middle age
     with no children to my name
These family ties that we still have
     lift us and sustain

For now, my home is full
     with Husband, Sister, Mom
Moments now - memories later
     prayers of thanks this dawn

Remembering Aurania

Forty-nine years ago today, a 25 year old woman died in a single car accident caused by icy roads in Billerica, Massachusetts, less than a mile from her home. She was my father's baby sister and my Aunt Aurania. I ran across her obituary this week, and did some unsuccessful hunting on the internet for records. I don't have enough information to identify her widowed husband, Frederick Patterson; with whom the family lost touch. There were no children. All of Aurania's immediate family have since passed on - her parents, Thomas and Irene, brother John (my father), and sister Katherin. They each suffered through her untimely accidental death that day decades ago. She shouldn't be forgotten.

"Baby" and her father

Aurania was the youngest of my grandparents children (by 9 years), and retained their nickname of  "Baby" into adulthood. When Dad enlisted for World War II, Aurania would have been (I think) just 3 years old.

Chicago of 1939 was Aurania's birthplace, but her parents relocated to Manchester, NH in the early 40's, and that's where she was raised. Aurania graduated from Notre Dame College in Manchester in 1961. In their alumni newsletter, they remembered her as "a smiling, cheerful person, whose philosophy of life was to try to bring happiness to others". A classmate's comments in the 1961 yearbook were, "She is an excellent, serious conscientious student, but her bell-like laughter proclaims her delightful

Aurania Haropulos in 1959

sense of humor. Endowed with wisdom beyond her years, still she has the gaity of youth and is popular among her contemporaries. We are proud to call her friend, and we know that whatever her creative dreams, she has the capacity to attain them."

I was only 9 when Aurania died. I'm left with emotional snapshots of a beautiful, kind young woman, a whiff of perfume, a charming laugh, and a wide smile. Thank God I at least have that much.

A Case FOR Facebook

This morning, a Facebook friend shared an article from the Huffington Post, entitled “11 Reasons You Should Quit Facebook in 2014”. Some of the author’s reasons were based on perceived “annoyances”; others based on privacy concerns stemming from commercial data mining or worry about your “friends” seeing things you don’t want them to see. I’m not a Facebook shareholder, and I know that Facebook isn’t for everyone. Many people have reasonable and valid reasons not to use Facebook. However, I have my own view of the benefits of this outlet for social connectivity…

EMBRACING FAR-FLUNG FRIENDS

Over the years, I lost touch with people I cared about. I have moved 5 times since graduating from college and starting a career. My friends and I were busy, and it seemed to be almost impossible to keep up with people – even with the advent of email. Through Facebook, I have been able to renew meaningful contact with people who are dear to me.

REAL FRIENDS CARE

We have good times and bad. Sharing the good times isn’t necessarily boastful or narcissistic. Sometimes it’s about sharing Happiness and Joy and Hope. It can be inspiring. And I can’t count the times friends have reached out for help or support and received it. Communication in any form can be a lifeline. Give and you get back tenfold. Share and people will share with you. Thank God, it’s Human Nature.

BE TICKLED

Just in the past 24 hours, Facebook has delivered photos of: a friend’s newborn baby, a reunion of college friends performing a New Year’s show, my sister celebrating her birthday week, a friend’s parents meeting their grandchildren for the first time… I could go on and on. If you aren’t interested in what your Facebook friends share online, then you can either “Hide” their postings (they won’t know, so you won’t hurt their feelings), or you should “Unfriend” them.

FOOTPRINTS IN THE SAND

Why do people share so much on Facebook? I don’t think there is a simple answer. I’ve asked myself the same question about why I blog. Without going into a lot of psychological depth… I want my friends to know me. I’m not blessed with children or grandchildren. Maybe I’m looking for other ways to leave my footprints in the sand. I like to write. I like to make people laugh. I like to communicate. So sue me.

NO FEAR

I choose not to dwell on the negative possibilities of Facebook use. I regularly visit my Facebook Account and Privacy Settings, and restrict them as necessary. I don’t play games via Facebook, because they require that I share my friends’ info, which isn’t mine to share. Facebook facilitates extensive data mining. Fortunately, most companies are really inept at it, so I don’t feel particularly threatened by their efforts to capitalize on what they think they know. My ability to ignore their flailing advertising overtures is considerable. If the intrusion ever actually outweighs the benefits I gain from Facebook, I will reconsider my position.

Dear Friends: Keep reaching out, post those photos that keep me in the know and warm my heart, share your personal philosophies, give and get in return.

Happy New Year!