Beyond Reason

"We still do not know who did this or why," said President Obama in his first official statement about the Boston Marathon bombings on April 15th. "But make no mistake, we will get to the bottom of this, and we will find out who did this, we'll find out why they did this."

I'm sure the President's statement was meant to convey confidence and provide some semblance of comfort, but it fell flat with me. There is no "why" to discover. Whoever did this despicable deed hates the United States and wants to threaten our collective way of life, our freedom. They want us to suffer. The perpetrators are godless, evil, sub-human creatures, who murdered and maimed innocent people. I believe the authorities will find them, and they will be punished and (in the President's words) "feel the full weight of justice". But the truth is that our civilized Justice system won't allow the punishment to be gruesome enough to fully fit the crime.

I am haunted by this picture of 8-year old victim Martin Richard; a mere child who understood humanity:

Those who choose to do harm will always find a way - guns, bombs, hatchets, ice picks, knives - we can't do away with all the implements that can be used in evil ways. The "why" is beyond reason. Let's pray for Evil to be conquered (in this case, preferably in an Old Testament kind of way involving impressive fire and brimstone) while we protect our loved ones as well as we can. Let's live our lives in a way that allows Faith and Grace to overcome.

Now I Get It

Funny how as you age you begin to understand and appreciate your parents’ perspective on so many things that were lost on you as a youngster. I could take it as a depressing sign that I am getting to be a fuddy-duddy, but I prefer to look at it as hard-earned maturity and wisdom.

SO MANY READING GLASSES:  I don’t know how many pair of readers my dad owned, but they seemed to be everywhere. Now I understand that no matter how many pair you have, and how far and wide you strew them around the house – you can never put your hands on a pair when you need them. Dammit.

A LITTLE RESPECT IS NICE:  My parents belonged to a country club. Dad seemed to get an inordinate amount of pleasure from being greeted by name and called “Sir”. What I failed to appreciate at the time was that being a member of that club meant a lot to my parents – especially my father. They enjoyed their leisure time among friends with similar interests. Dad spent hard-earned money there, and the staff treated him with respect. It made him feel good. Now I get it. We belong to a community club. The bartender knows what I drink. The F & B Director makes sure we get a good table for dinner. We appreciate the service and the recognition we have as active members. (Dad, it does feel really good.)

ROUTINE IS COMFORTING:  We had a few cherished routines in our family, and if any of my siblings read this, they will remember. Saturday night was Burger Night at home. Dad would grill them and give Mom a break in the kitchen. Sunday Night we watched Disney and had popcorn, apple, and ginger ale for dinner. It was nice to know that we would be together on those evenings, sharing a tradition. Although routines have changed for Ron and me over time, with our moves, we value certain constants that add comfort to our lives. Part of our evening routine is that Ron tucks me into bed every night. Sweet.

THE MIDDLE-AGE BATTLE OF THE BULGE:  Once, when I was little, I said to my mother, “Mommy you would be so pretty if you would suck in your tummy.” It made her cry. I was shocked and upset at her reaction, because I didn’t mean to hurt her feelings. If someone said that to me today, I would cry too. I’m still sorry, Mom.

REVEL IN YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS:  My parents were always proud of their children and their home. The night before my father died, he and Mom talked about what they accomplished together in their married life. Over the years, Ron and I have enjoyed (and continue to enjoy) the fruits of our efforts. It’s good to talk about them and reinforce their importance. They got us to the happy place we’re in today.

What I Believe

From 2004 to 2008, NPR aired a feature called "This I Believe" wherein they featured people reading essays about their guiding principles and core values. It was based on a 1950's radio show hosted by Edward R. Murrow. Today there is a not-for-profit foundation by the same name that encourages people to write, share, and discuss these essays as an inspiring educational tool for youth and adults. 

My blog is an unfocused, shotgun-style attempt to tell you about who I am, and what I believe. It seems daunting to attempt to put that so succinctly into a single brief essay. Here we go...

THIS I BELIEVE

I believe that it's important to work and sacrifice for the life you want. That means that you know what it's like to work two jobs at a time and scrabble from paycheck to paycheck, have a late model car that barely gets you to work, say no to buying things you desire, and live in a sub-par apartment without granite countertops and stainless steel appliances (gasp) that requires diligence in pest control. It's difficult to truly appreciate and be thankful for attaining a level of comfort in life unless you know in your heart that you have earned it.

I believe that life is not about the accumulation of stuff. Fancy cars, McMansions, runway fashions, pedigreed pets and the like are hollow ways to spend money and express ourselves. They tempt us to be self-satisfied in an unbecoming way. Our personal comfort, safety, and health bring us peace and are the foundation of our existence. We can be creative in achieving those things without going to excess.

I believe in honesty, friendship, loyalty, and in doing no harm. I believe in kindness and generosity. I believe that it's important to play and have fun. Life presents challenges and battles, and we must be strong to fight the fight when needed. Life also presents wonder and opportunity, and we should joyfully embrace chances to experience and savor what inspires us.

I believe that faith and religion take many forms, and that sects that would damn people for living a good life outside of boundaries interpreted by other mortals are more restrictive than a loving God condones.

I believe that life is best lived side-by-side with those we love; partners, family, friends, and pets. Appreciate what they add to your existence. When we are gone, we will be but dust. Our spirits live on - formless or formed in unknown ways. The life we have today is a precious gift, and we should live it well.

Busy, Busy, Busy!

I'm swiftly approaching five years of retirement, in May. It still amuses me that some people thought I would be bored in this stage of my life. "What will you DO?", people would gasp when I told them I was leaving the corporate world behind. My work life pace was dizzying, exhausting, and stressful. Looking back, I honestly don't know how I coped from day to day. What I know now is that I didn't eat properly, exercise enough, spend time with friends, or take very good care of my home. On top of that, I often didn't sleep well. The financial rewards were great and I am grateful that allowed me to run away sooner. But I was slowly killing myself.

Truly, I feel almost as busy today as I was when I worked. The difference is that my time is my own, and I choose what to do, with whom, and on what schedule. I don't lie awake at night, worrying about playing golf tomorrow and having dinner with friends. OK, that almost made me "LOL".

I am so NOT bored. My calendar for March was packed with activity almost every day. Granted, things are perking up around here a little with the advent of warmer weather. But here's some of what I did this month:

Dinner at friends' homes (5 times), Nine & Dine at club, Golf (several times a week), Sweet Adelines  chorus rehearsal (once a week for 3 hours), meeting with contractor (for patio expansion), medical check-up, Nine & Wine, overnight trip to Scottsdale, Cubs Spring Training game, dinner out with friends, Friday Night Happy Hours at club, Wine Pairing Dinner, Silpada jewelry party, St Patrick's Day golf tournament, haircut, party planning, Spring cleaning (indoors and out), patio furniture delivery, lunch with an old Hilton friend, Bunco Night with the girls, a Talking Rock Communication Council meeting, a Wine Tasting, several long phone calls with Mom and far-away friends, and blogging. That doesn't include normal housekeeping, laundry, shopping, and preparation of meals. And we still have four days left in the month for more golf, including a tournament on Friday, and an Easter Brunch party for 64 invitees that we are co-hosting with our neighbors.

Busy, busy, busy - and loving every minute of being a Runaway Boomer!

Spring Hodgepodge

It's officially Spring, and I have big-time Spring Fever. There is a jumble of seasonal thoughts in my head that looks something like this...

Windows Wide

Sweetness Inside

Summer Clothes

Pedicured Toes

Green Fairways

Sun's Golden Rays

Spring Cleaning

Domestic Preening

Flower Shopping

Colors Popping

Stuffy Heads

Allergy Meds

Patio Dreams

Gathering Themes

Cocktails Outside

Snacks Supplied

Morning Dew

Tee Time for Two

The Allure of Home Improvement

It was love at first sight three years ago when we toured the home we subsequently purchased in Talking Rock Ranch in Prescott, AZ. The layout, the finishings and fixtures, the view - everything was to our taste, and we could easily visualize living here.

Of course, when you live in a home for a while, you start to think about what you could do to make it even better - more your own. Now we have two projects in mind that we think would be welcome enhancements to our lifestyle.

Yesterday we met with a designer/landscaper/builder who has done a lot of work in our community. We stood on the back patio and discussed our vision for an expanded entertainment space, with more seating, a fire feature, and a hot tub. There are limitations on what we can do, because of Talking Rock design standards, but we believe that we can easily work within those guidelines. We are about to sign a contract and begin the planning and approval process. Hopefully we will be able to enjoy the results during the height of the golf and social season here.

On the interior of the house, we would like to reconfigure the entertainment wall. The space for the TV and audio components needs to be a little larger. The fireplace mantel could be extended across the entire wall. We'd like to add art niches and accent lighting. This project will probably be deferred to 2014, but we wanted to plant the seeds of thought in our contractor's head. He's a creative guy.

Home design project planning has been greatly enhanced in recent years by technology. We were shown lifelike, animated, computer-generated renderings of patio projects with crackling fireplaces, plants waving in the breeze, and actual backdrops of the client's view to add realism. You can even see a daytime versus nighttime view. It's so much easier to imagine the end product of your investment with these models. Amazing stuff.

Sample from Houzz.com

We were also encouraged to create an account on Houzz.com, which describes itself as "A collaborative platform for home remodeling and design, bringing homeowners and home professionals together in a uniquely visual community." After creating an account, we can build a folder of ideas that appeal to us, and share them with our contractor. This will help him get a feeling for our design aesthetic, and may spark ideas for features that will work in our plan.

This is the fun part - the dreaming and design. The reality of digging, dust, noise, invasion of privacy during construction, and writing checks will be the not fun part. But I'm sure the results will be well worth it.

Bark Your Joy

When was the last time you laughed out loud? I'm convinced it's crucial to our general health to giggle or guffaw on a regular basis. It lightens the spirit, cleanses the soul, and etches pleasant lines into our faces.

Of course, we can't squeeze out a genuine laugh on demand. And certainly we all have life circumstances that are serious or tragic and totally humorless. But from day to day we should search out ways to find amusement and celebrate it by throwing back our heads and barking our joy. 

When I need a laugh, I search out my friends. Last night at our Bunco gathering, we laughed like crazy women, and I went home happy. My golf buddies tease me and each other mercilessly, and we have a great time - especially when it's all balanced out with heartfelt hugs. One of the reasons that I love my husband is that we share the ability to find humor in many things, and enjoy being silly sometimes. 

Search out your happiness and embrace it noisily when it comes your way.

"Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine."

LORD BYRON

"At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities."

JEAN HOUSTON  

"He that is of a merry heart has a continuous feast."

PROVERBS 15:15

"If you become silent after your laughter, one day you will hear God also laughing, you will hear the whole existence laughing - trees and stones and stars with you."

OSHO