Parceled Reality

It’s been over a month since we closed on the house in Prescott, and more than three weeks since we returned to Chicago. The fact that we own a home in Arizona has now become somewhat unreal, which feels weird. Unlike a traditional vacation home, we can’t just drive a couple of hours to spend the weekend. Our goal is to get there every six to eight weeks, and to stay at least two weeks each time. The next visit is still weeks away.

Chicago will continue to be our primary residence for approximately the next two years, and we have cautioned ourselves to avoid short-changing our urban experience by focusing too much on Prescott. For example, we do not intend to move furniture that we use and enjoy from the condo, until we relocate permanently. We can, however, move some clothing, a few kitchen items, and some artwork that will make the ranch cottage more functional and homey.

Our approach is to parcel our reality and live in the moment. When we are in Chicago, we should enjoy it fully, and make sure we consciously work the Chicago “Bucket List”. It’s hard to ignore the fact that the clock is now ticking on our residency here. Time moves quickly these days. When we go to Prescott we will take full advantage of all it has to offer. We do need to take care that we enjoy Prescott as residents - not vacationers. There is a difference in the mindset that has potential impact on our ongoing budget. (You know how it is…on vacation you eat out every day!)

This summer in Chicago, we will enjoy golf, lunch at sidewalk cafes, street festivals, evenings on the back porch, and walks by the Lake. Summer in Prescott offers gatherings at the club, outdoor cookouts, hanging by the pool, hiking, concerts on the courthouse square, and golf (the common denominator). We’ll have the best of both worlds. It’s all good!

I was thinking that Prescott is a virtual reality, but it’s more like a parceled reality. It’s every bit as real as Chicago; I just have to store it in an emotional cubbyhole when we are not physically there. I love both of our homes.

Be Kind To Yourself

One thing I have discovered since quitting my job is that I have more time to be kind to myself. This is so important; yet when we are running from here to there and always thinking about what we SHOULD be doing, it often seems we don’t have time to take care of ourselves. With this thinking, we open the door to more stress, feelings of frustration and anger, and even poor health.

The first thing we need to learn is to forgive ourselves for not being able to do everything we think we should do. Enough with the self-flagellation for ignoring a dirty kitchen floor, running behind on the laundry, having to send a belated birthday card, etc. (And this doesn’t even address all the stresses of a job!) Sometimes you can only manage the things high on your list of priorities and scrabble intact from one day to the next. But you must occasionally put yourself at the top of the list.

Give yourself a break, and do something that makes you feel pampered. Be kinder to yourself. It will help you feel more like you are living than just surviving. Everyone has their own outlets. Here are some of mine:

• Taking an afternoon nap
• Treating myself to some flowers
• Having a manicure/pedicure or facial
• Playing! (golf, going to a museum, dominos, Wii)
• Indulging a passion (playing my ukulele, making jewelry)
• Enjoying a favorite food and drink
• Connecting with a friend
• Buying myself a present
• Sinking into a bubble bath
• Curling up with a good book

You have your own list of things you wish you had more time to do. I know you do! Carve out some time and be kind to yourself. It’s good for you, and you need it.

 

Big Expenses-Small Satisfaction

Sometimes you have to spend big money to protect investments you have already made in your home, automobile, or household durable goods. I accept that. But writing those big checks does not give me the same happy buzz that I get when I buy something more glamorous or fun!

Today we are having six replacement windows installed in the front room, for over $3800. Ouch. Granted, we will get a $1500 tax break that I will appreciate come next April. And I know they are better insulated, which will deliver improved comfort in the winter. Still, I just can’t get that excited about new windows. Oh well.

Tires are another big ticket purchase that leaves me cold. Yes, the car handles nicely with new tires, and I get slightly better gas mileage. Yes, I know I am less likely to be stranded somewhere with a flat tire. I appreciate all that. But they don’t make the car look better. They are just a necessity. Meh.

And what about taxes? I know that taxes are inevitable. When we cashed out and left Hilton, we paid a horrifying tax bill. It seems the IRS always knows how to hit us hardest, regardless of what phase of our financial lives we are in. We worked for more than 30 years, paying taxes all the way along, and have never been on the dole. Now that we are retired, we would like to see some government programs that actually benefit us instead of taking more from what we worked so hard to earn. Boo, hiss capital gains tax increases! C’mon, health care reform! We are not the “evil rich”; just a couple middle class kids who took advantage of a good education, worked hard, made sacrifices, and saved so we could enjoy the last third of our lives. Mess up my plans and I’m going to have to become politically active to try to protect myself. Don’t make me go there.

I’m sucking it up, and writing those checks. Phooey.

My Dream

I had a dream.
In it there were warm, starry nights, blue mountains, and rolling green hills.
Birds flitted and sang, and native beasts boldly hopped and prowled.
The sun painted gold streaks with a broad brush.
When I breathed, the air was sharp and fragrant.  It sated my soul.
I was wildly exhilarated and at peace.
I wanted it to last, but I awoke.
I’m chasing the dream, and I’m gaining on it.

Setting Up Household (Again)

In our married life, Ron and I have moved 3 times – Dallas to Vegas, Vegas to Memphis, and Memphis to Chicago. We are pretty familiar with the complex process of closing one household down and setting up the next. When we transitioned from Memphis to Chicago, we had some overlap when we were enjoying both homes. We’re doing that again for this move to Prescott (#4). Chicago will continue to be our primary residence for the next year or two, so we won’t be stripping the house to set up the new place in Prescott. This makes things a little complicated…expensive too.

Our approach is to consider the items we know will make the move, and try not to make purchases that duplicate them. However, to spend quality time in Prescott we needed some basic things like dishes, cookware, and silverware. We’ll decide later what things are keepers, and what will be donated, repurposed, or sold.

So far, the biggest challenge is furniture shopping. Choices are somewhat limited. And if you go outside Prescott, as we did to Phoenix on Tuesday, delivery becomes problematic. There’s a sectional sofa I want at La-Z-Boy, but they only deliver to Prescott once a month. Timing of our next visit will have to be coordinated with that in mind. Delivery charges are also high, since we are 2 hours from Phoenix and an hour from Flagstaff. That just has to be taken into account as part of the price of living here.  And it's so beautiful here that the cost is worth it.

A fun aspect of this process is that we have learned a lot over the years about what works for us and the essentials of making a household a home. The discussions Ron and I have over furnishings and decorating decisions are lively and interesting. Ron isn’t one to leave all the design decisions to me, so if I have something specific in mind I must use all my feminine wiles and negotiating skills. And I have to be flexible and keep an open mind; because Ron has really good ideas (and mine are sometimes a bit “out there”).

By the time we head back to Chicago, we can feel good about a number of accomplishments: All utilities activated; leak in propane tank discovered and repaired (whew); repaired leak and wall in laundry room; kitchen ready for action; rug & chairs for living room delivered; washer & dryer delivered and installed; new air filters throughout; new vacuum cleaner put into service; table & chairs for outdoor patio; lighted makeup mirror on bathroom wall; windows washed; kitchen & bathrooms scrubbed; introduction to (fully tricked out and awesome) fitness center; 9 holes of golf and meeting new friends.

We are fully cognizant that we are setting the foundation for the next phase of our runaway life, and it’s really, really exciting. For us, a dream is once again becoming reality. We wish the same for you.

Euphoria in the Desert

We closed on our new home in Prescott, AZ yesterday. It’s hard to believe that we have taken this big step into the next phase of our “runaway” life. We didn’t expect to find our home in the Southwest this soon, but the situation was too perfect to pass by. From the first moment after stepping into this "Ranch Cottage", I could see us living here. May sound weird to some, but I mean I felt that we were meant to be here.

We have 2070 square feet, with 2 bedrooms, a den, and 2 baths. There are lots of windows with views out to the golf course, the desert, and the mountains. The floorplan is very open, enhanced by high ceilings with beams and other wood touches. Most of the flooring is ceramic tile that looks like slate. Three patios provide plenty of outdoor space to enjoy, even though the lot is the smallest we have ever had (.2 acres). The lawn is a desert landscape or xeriscape (from the Greek word “xero”, meaning dry), and is maintained by the homeowners association.

Our first few days in the house will be filled with cleaning and a few minor repairs (the side effect of buying a foreclosure “as is”). Truly, there are few issues, and we are getting to know our place through this welcome work. The weather is great and we had the windows open yesterday. At one point I smelled something marvelous, and when I looked up I realized that it was raining outside. What I smelled was the desert plants soaking up the rain. It’s a sweet, fresh, energizing scent. Birds were twittering in excitement and flying around snatching up worms. It was lovely.

Another busy day ahead of us today… We’ll spend our first night in the house tonight, after I shop for some bedding and towels. We hope to cook up something on the grill for dinner tonight. (Ah, that would mean I need some dishes and silverware too, wouldn’t it?) Bed Bath & Beyond, here we come!

The Home Place & Family History

This past weekend, Ron and I spent several days in Melvin, IL at his family’s farm. Along with two of his brothers, Tim and Ken, and Ken’s wife Joy, we began the process of cleaning out some old belongings from the “home place”. No one lives in the farm house now, and it is suffering from inattention and disrepair. A weekend of dusty work made a dent in what needs to be done, but the hard part is still ahead of us – deciding what to do with the house and the farm land for the long term. Sharecroppers still plant and harvest corn and soybeans on the acreage. There are no longer any farmers in the immediate family, and the sensible thing to do is to sell it all. But the history is long (back to the early/mid 1800’s) and complex emotions run deep, swirling around family memories. It’s not a decision to be made lightly.

Joy and I spent a good deal of time working our way through boxes and boxes of family photos, spanning generations back to Civil War times. The images are with me still, and I am intrigued by the people long gone. Now that I know their faces from so many photos – baby pictures, class photos, wedding portraits, and on into old age - I want to know their stories. Many were not marked with names or dates, so are part of a genealogical puzzle to be slowly pieced together. When we opened a box that included old newspaper clippings with obituaries, it was a jackpot of names, dates, and lists of relations. The experience made me want to go home, write on the back of all my old photos, and better organize and tag my digital images.

There is lingering feeling of sadness after this weekend of work. So much of what we saw, handled, and in some cases threw into a dumpster, were belongings that were important to people that were dear to us. We have the memories, but parting with the evidence of the details of their lives is painful. The photos make it a little easier, I think. In the photos is proof of love, happiness, vitality, and loads of personality across generations. In the Buchholz lineage (Ron’s mother’s family) you see serious and hearty German stock that settled farmland in Illinois, Minnesota, and Nebraska. Here, the Buchholz men consistently married the prettiest girls in town, as evidenced by class photos from Melvin high school. There was also sadness in lives cut short by accident or illness. It’s all part of the texture of rich and complex lives.

This walk through history somehow makes the present more precious. We inhabit just brief blips in time, and we all should relish every moment we have to enjoy life.

Photo is circa 1890, of Dr Charles Buchholz and his father August Buchholz (Ron’s great-great grandfather) at Balanced Rock, Gateway Garden of the Gods, in Manitou, Colorado.